Heather Mythic Bitch Chandler
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Joined 09-20-17, id: 9768405, Profile Updated: 06-10-18
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

I was exposed to fanfiction at age eight by an incorrigible babysitter that I'm still friends with. This is all, indisputably, her fault.

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How to Win Friends and Influence People by olivieblake reviews
Real heroes never quit. Real villains never die. Dramione with ensemble cast, post-war, espionage AU. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 42 - Words: 403,894 - Reviews: 3672 - Favs: 2,474 - Follows: 1,901 - Updated: 6/4/2018 - Published: 6/15/2017 - [Draco M., Hermione G.] [Harry P., Theodore N.] - Complete
Fan Fiction, Sex Gods and Single Girls by bannerday reviews
After a mortifying first meeting, fanfiction writer Bella finds story inspiration in her distracting new neighbor. She thinks he's just a player. He thinks she's a little odd. But you can't judge a book by its cover. And just wait until Bella discovers who's reading her newest fic! Art imitates life imitates art. An AH romantic comedy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 73 - Words: 479,535 - Reviews: 26163 - Favs: 7,404 - Follows: 6,885 - Updated: 5/25/2018 - Published: 6/21/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I Love You, I Know by LyricalKris reviews
Bella's boyfriend of nine years dumped her at the Happiest Place on Earth wearing one half of a couple's themed t-shirt. Somehow, on one of the worst days of her life, she wound up sitting next to a man wearing the other half of her shirt, also wandering Disneyland alone and partnerless. It was a sign. Of what, neither of them knew.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 53,660 - Reviews: 2557 - Favs: 2,298 - Follows: 2,257 - Updated: 4/4/2018 - Published: 7/2/2017 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Playing Cops and Vloggers by LyricalKris reviews
So you're standing in line for coffee, minding your own business, when a sexy cop with nerdy tattoos walks into your life. Soon, you have yourself a sexy, nerdy cop boyfriend who rocks your world. Cops can't be seen on social media, did you know that? Bella didn't. That was going to be a challenge considering she made her living as a vlogger who documented her so-called nerdy life.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 64,491 - Reviews: 2872 - Favs: 2,790 - Follows: 2,449 - Updated: 12/20/2016 - Published: 3/14/2016 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Snowfall Kind of Love by TheFicChick reviews
There's one thing on my grown-up Christmas list, and while it includes a number of specifics in varying degrees of dirtiness, it really all boils to the one thing I've wanted for a year and a half: a do-gooder with unruly hair and a Mister Rogers sweater, and a lifetime of nights that would land me squarely on the naughty list.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 68,622 - Reviews: 2101 - Favs: 2,158 - Follows: 1,523 - Updated: 12/30/2015 - Published: 12/1/2015 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Tequila Sunrise by 2old4fanfic reviews
It started with a Tequila Sunrise and a drunken text to her ex, Jacob. Then came two pink lines on a plastic stick. Now, she's trapped with her stuck up boss in an elevator. He has an outrageous proposal that will solve her need for cash and his need for human contact. She could have never guuessed where this elevator ride would take her. Canon couples eventually NOW COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 56 - Words: 220,931 - Reviews: 5245 - Favs: 4,433 - Follows: 3,419 - Updated: 11/29/2015 - Published: 10/14/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
An Introduction to Swirl and Daisy by m81170 reviews
A first kiss, a first dance, a first curse word shared between best friends. This is the tale of a boring, young geek and the social pariah who thought the world of him. A tale of growing up. A tale of a Non-Romantic Romance.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 212,915 - Reviews: 15095 - Favs: 8,158 - Follows: 7,071 - Updated: 1/4/2015 - Published: 1/4/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
If Every Word I Said Could Make You Laugh by carmelinagunn reviews
Bella moved to LA and has found "sisters" in 2 of her school mates. They meet 3 brothers in their new apt building & experiences love in more ways than one, in more depth than she knew was possible. Zip up your love. Read IEWIS. AH, regular pairings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 46 - Words: 291,233 - Reviews: 5141 - Favs: 5,507 - Follows: 1,543 - Updated: 5/29/2014 - Published: 7/9/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Contractually Bound by LyricalKris reviews
She'd cost him everyone he'd ever loved. Surely a few months of marriage wasn't too high a price for her to pay in compensation.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 82,259 - Reviews: 5666 - Favs: 3,844 - Follows: 3,078 - Updated: 7/23/2013 - Published: 4/11/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Boy At Table Seven by LyricalKris reviews
Life for a young waitress can be pretty mundane. The highlight of Bella's week was the lunchtime visit from the three sexy mechanics from across the street. Then one day there was a little boy at her table left alone.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 78,511 - Reviews: 7090 - Favs: 5,440 - Follows: 4,133 - Updated: 7/16/2013 - Published: 4/4/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Accidentally in Love by Missus T reviews
A personal ad for a fake fiancée leads to something they never expected. Two lonely souls discover that faking it might be the best thing that ever happened to them. ExB AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 134,493 - Reviews: 4806 - Favs: 5,469 - Follows: 4,219 - Updated: 5/31/2013 - Published: 1/27/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Princess and the E by CLWN reviews
When Bella meets the mysterious 'E' he calls her his Princess and she's soon drawn into his dangerous world of organised crime. But this is no fairytale, so when Edward finds himself in trouble, it's up to his Princess to save him. OOC/AH. ExB AxJ RxEm.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 31 - Words: 214,813 - Reviews: 4188 - Favs: 5,338 - Follows: 3,250 - Updated: 5/31/2013 - Published: 4/19/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Practicum by TheFicChick reviews
"We're going to be teaching high schoolers how not to get each other knocked up or infected with gonorrhea. It's hardly a romantic evening for two."
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 97,904 - Reviews: 4417 - Favs: 4,631 - Follows: 3,336 - Updated: 4/3/2013 - Published: 1/13/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
First & Ten by Nolebucgrl reviews
Bella Swan is an aspiring sports writer and her first big assignment is to interview the league's biggest, not to mention hottest, quarterback. Will Edward Cullen school her in the rules of the game or will she teach him a thing or two? Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 55 - Words: 375,555 - Reviews: 15198 - Favs: 11,180 - Follows: 5,727 - Updated: 3/30/2013 - Published: 4/6/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Breakaway Bella by Hoodfabulous reviews
Sparks fly and tempers flare when Memphis bartender, Bella Swan, meets crime boss, Edward Cullen. All she wants to do is run. He'll chase her to the ends of the Earth. She thinks he's an arrogant jerk. He thinks she's hiding something. He's right. Rated M for 'streaking Emmett' and Carmen and Tia's mouths. Drama/Romance/Humor/Adventure/Mystery/Suspense
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 211,157 - Reviews: 3200 - Favs: 3,391 - Follows: 1,659 - Updated: 1/31/2013 - Published: 10/10/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Indecent Proposal by pattyrose reviews
Edward's heart was broken by the girl he's loved for almost a decade. Drifter Bella wanders into Forks aimlessly one hot summer day. When their paths cross, he proposes a scheme to get them both their deepest desires. But things aren't always as they seem & Fate can have other plans. Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 167,197 - Reviews: 7421 - Favs: 5,108 - Follows: 3,020 - Updated: 1/24/2013 - Published: 5/30/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Purple Banana Hammock by TheFicChick reviews
Like most women, I always found Speedos to be equal parts hilarious and horrifying. That all changed the day I saw Edward Cullen wearing one.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 52,150 - Reviews: 1198 - Favs: 3,313 - Follows: 1,155 - Updated: 11/27/2012 - Published: 8/17/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
My Biggest Mistake, My Greatest Salvation by LyricalKris reviews
Edward has spent all of his thirty-two years trying to be the man his grandfather raised him to be. When he wakes up married to a young, scared, pregnant stranger, this is one mistake he won't leave in Vegas.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 31 - Words: 113,338 - Reviews: 6425 - Favs: 5,481 - Follows: 3,700 - Updated: 8/8/2012 - Published: 3/20/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Hate's An Aphrodisiac by LyricalKris reviews
Edward and Bella have to work together to get back Alice's wedding dress after a mix up takes place and realize just how strong of a passion hate truly is. It's a thin line between love and hate, and for these two, that line is called lust.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,553 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 367 - Follows: 137 - Published: 8/6/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Best I Ever Had by WhatsMyNomDePlume reviews
Sex between friends complicates everything. Bella knows this. But she has no idea how much more Edward is going to complicate things.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 64,919 - Reviews: 7656 - Favs: 11,887 - Follows: 6,201 - Updated: 6/25/2012 - Published: 2/17/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
No Place Like Home by tellingmelies reviews
Edward is forced to leave his playboy life behind in Chicago and come home to Washington, but will he change his ways or risk losing everything? All human, cannon couples, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 255,403 - Reviews: 7272 - Favs: 7,538 - Follows: 5,132 - Updated: 6/19/2012 - Published: 4/25/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Dear Mr Masen by jendonna reviews
"Error 434: Reprimanding an executive." Life changing or just stupid? Dear Mr. Masen: A story of unauthorized Internet usage, culinary delights and the goings-on at Cullen, Inc. AH, ExB.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 127,500 - Reviews: 13005 - Favs: 8,692 - Follows: 6,377 - Updated: 2/14/2012 - Published: 11/17/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Breaking News by WriteOnTime reviews
Two network news anchors. One desk. In a race to get the story, love might become the headline - if they don't kill each other first. AH Canon Couples, smart people, particle physics, and tap dancing.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 182,215 - Reviews: 7279 - Favs: 6,100 - Follows: 4,266 - Updated: 1/3/2012 - Published: 10/5/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Rough Start by ItzMegan73 reviews
Overnight irresponsible Edward goes from bachelor to father of a 5 yr old. Meanwhile responsible, prepared Bella begins her first job as Kindergarten teacher at Forks Elementary. When irresponsible meets the epitome of responsible, sparks will fly!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 253,554 - Reviews: 23274 - Favs: 15,964 - Follows: 10,976 - Updated: 8/31/2011 - Published: 8/20/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Parenthetical Love by LyricalKris reviews
Bella wasn't interested in finding a father for her baby-to-be. Edward wasn't interested in being a father at all. The accidents that can make a parent don't always happen between the sheets, but will they make the best of it?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 150,001 - Reviews: 4944 - Favs: 4,681 - Follows: 2,481 - Updated: 8/2/2011 - Published: 8/6/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Work in Progress by araeo reviews
AU/AH: Bella, Edward and the usual suspects are adults living in Seattle. They hit it off after a klutzy accident and E awakens B's ovaries, who never hesitate to voice their pervy opinion in B's head. Rated M for language and lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 281,655 - Reviews: 6718 - Favs: 6,360 - Follows: 3,683 - Updated: 7/1/2011 - Published: 2/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Deceitful Taboos by LyricalKris reviews
It was love at first sight. He made her heart flutter. She took his breath away. It was a match made in heaven... with one exception - he thought she was his cousin.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 48,812 - Reviews: 653 - Favs: 880 - Follows: 489 - Updated: 4/28/2011 - Published: 4/28/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Paper CutOuts by twistedcoincidence reviews
Bella prefers the virtual to the actual, but feels herself being tugged from the safety of her online realm into the world of a rough edged Edward. This time she'll write her own story. Collab with astilbe13 AH/AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 34 - Words: 136,587 - Reviews: 10364 - Favs: 6,833 - Follows: 3,834 - Updated: 2/15/2011 - Published: 5/23/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Blessing and the Curse by The Black Arrow reviews
By pretending she is falling for Edward, Bella is fulfilling Esme's dying wish. But sexy, possessive Edward can read her mind. Will she ever get into his? Can Bella forget the pain of her teenage years, and can she resist his relentless seduction? AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 140,448 - Reviews: 14548 - Favs: 17,109 - Follows: 8,796 - Updated: 9/10/2010 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Port Angeles Players by WriteOnTime reviews
New in the town of Forks and eager to please her boss at the university, Bella auditions for a local production of Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing". Her co-star is a handsome but confusing local doctor. Curtains-up on love. AH canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 170,459 - Reviews: 4628 - Favs: 4,159 - Follows: 1,662 - Updated: 8/29/2010 - Published: 3/11/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
So Be It by SophiaAnne reviews
Happy Harry is here again, live and streaming right into where you live. Are you ready for me?” Will Bella Swan find out who's behind the sexy voice that has her all hot and bothered? BxE - AU/AH, OOC, Lemons and Language. Now revised and expanded.
Crossover - Pump Up The Volume & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 21,484 - Reviews: 551 - Favs: 1,012 - Follows: 433 - Updated: 3/3/2010 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Bella - Complete
More More More by carmelinagunn reviews
This is the sequel to If Every Word I Said Could Make You Laugh. You do need to read that to understand this. Zip up your love one more time and read More!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 248,187 - Reviews: 5900 - Favs: 2,928 - Follows: 1,903 - Updated: 1/18/2010 - Published: 9/29/2008 - Complete
Bella Swan: Kidnapper by Kambria Rain reviews
Um. Hi. I don’t really know how to say this, but I have your kids with me, and I was thinking maybe you would like them back. So yeah… call me.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 74,736 - Reviews: 9278 - Favs: 17,188 - Follows: 3,789 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Getting it Right by Moonprincess92 reviews
Rose and Scorpius share a hate/hate relationship. So everyone thought. Even Rose and Scorpius themselves. It just took them a while to get anything right. [Scorpius/Rose NextGen Complete]
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 38 - Words: 220,139 - Reviews: 1667 - Favs: 1,557 - Follows: 569 - Updated: 4/18/2009 - Published: 8/22/2008 - Scorpius M., Rose W. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Cullen's Fine Goods reviews
Bella Swan is the epitome of a good employee. She's had her job at Cullen's Fine Goods Emporium for almost six years. Nothing could ever jeopardize her position... except maybe a non-fraternization policy and an incredibly attractive boss.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 137,379 - Reviews: 189 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 238 - Updated: 9/16 - Published: 10/27/2018 - Bella, Edward
Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have reviews
Years on the road have made this sibling duo uniquely suited to take down a criminal's biggest target in all the world: Cullen Pharmaceuticals. Get in, get the cash, get out, and get those stupid teenage feelings in check.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 20,820 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 9/8 - Published: 2/21 - Bella, Edward, Jacob