hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 01-28-06, id: 979498, Profile Updated: 01-24-08
Author has written 11 stories for Song of the Lioness, and Janet Evanovich.


The Bucket List

Edward Cole: Here's something to remember when you're older Thomas - never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.
Thomas: I'll remember that when I start "decrepitating" sir.

27 Dresses

Jane: I feel like I just found out that my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.

Jane: Oh yeah, I'm a real good cocker.
Kevin[into recorder Likes cock.

Kevin: Do you not have any needs?
Jane: No, I'm Jesus.

Kevin: Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Jack Sparrow[reading off a map "Up is down"? Well, that's just maddenly unhelpful.

Will Turner: I told myself, think like Jack.
Jack Sparrow: And this is what you came up with? It's like you don't know me at all, mate.

Jack Sparrow: Why should I side with any of you? Four of you have tried to kill me in the past... one of you succeeded

Jack Sparrow: You know, for all that pirates are clever-clogs, we are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things.
Gibbs: Like?
Jack Sparrow: I once sailed with a geezer lost both his arms and part of his eye.
Gibbs: What did you call him?
Jack Sparrow[pause Larry.

Jack Sparrow: Nobody move! I've dropped me brain.

Mistress Ching: Who is this traitor?
Barbossa: Most likely not one among us.
Elizabeth Swann[pause Where's Will?
Jack Sparrow: Not among us.

Jack Sparrow: Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness.

Jack Sparrow: We shall have a magnificent garden party and you're not invited!

Lord Cutler Beckett: You're mad.
Jack Sparrow: Well thank goodness for that, 'cause if I wasn't this would probably never work.
[catapults himself onto his ship landing safely on his feet behind his crew
Jack Sparrow: And that was without a single drop of rum.

Gibbs: Well, slap me thrice and hand me to me mama!

Governor Swann: Elizabeth, are you dead?
Elizabeth Swann: No!
Governor Swann: I think I am.

Captain Sao Feng: Drop your weapons, or I kill the man!
Barbossa: Kill him, he's not our man.

The Guardian

Maggie McGlone: Your wife left you. Your best friend is dead. You sound like a country song. If you had a dog, he'd be run over by now.

Jake Fischer: So do you have a name?
Emily Thomas: Yes, "Don't forget my money"...
Jake Fischer: OK... Do you have middle name?

Ben Randall[On his "number" It's 22.
Jake Fischer: Well that's not... bad... It's not 200 but...
Ben Randall: 22 is the number of people that I've lost. It's the only number that I've kept track of.

Jake Fischer: You gotta make a move!
Billy Hodge: I can't. I get nervous.
Jake Fischer: You're tellin' me you can jump outta helicopters but you're afraid to go talk to a girl?
Billy Hodge: Uh... pretty much, yea.

Willy Wonka

Mike Teavee: Who wants a beard?
Willy Wonka: Well, beatniks for one, folk singers and motorbike riders. Y'know. All those hip, jazzy, super cool, neat, keen, and groovy cats. It's in the fridge, daddy-o! Are you hip to the jive? Can you dig what I'm layin' down? I knew that you could. Slide me some skin, soul brother!

Shrek 2

Shrek: Join the club. We got jackets.

Shrek: Aww, look at him, in his wee lil' boots! I mean, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly?

Donkey: Oh, don't feel bad, Shrek. Almost everybody who meets you wants to kill you.

National Treasure

Riley Poole: Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?

Abigail Chase: Are you crying, Riley?
Riley Poole: Look... Stairs.

Riley Poole: For the record, Ben, I like the house.
Ben Gates: You know, I chose this estate because in 1812 Charles Carroll met...
Riley Poole: Yeah, someone that did something in history and had fun. Great. Wonderful.

Bruce Almighty

Bruce: Behind every great man... is a woman rolling her eyes

Bruce: And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Grace: I've got a very rare blood type. I'm AB positive.
Bruce: Well I'm IB positive. I be positive they ain't touching me with no needle.

George of the Jungle

Narrator: Don't worry. Nobody dies in this story. They just get really big boo-boos.

Happy Feet

Ramón: Just a moment. I hear people wanting something... ME!

Ramón: Kiss my frozen tushy! Kiss it, kiss it!

Memphis: You bet you will. The word triumph starts with "try" and ends with...?
Young Mumble: umph?
Memphis: That's right, a big ol' UMPH!

Raul: What you huggin me for?
Ramón: He told me to.
Raul: Get away.
Ramón: No, you like it!

Robin Hood: Men in Tights

Achoo: Hey, Blinkin!
Blinkin: Did you say "Abe Lincoln"?

Blinkin: Oh, this never would have happened if your father was alive.
Robin Hood: He's dead?
Blinkin: Yes.
Robin Hood: And my mother?
Blinkin: She died of pneumonia while - oh, you were away!
Robin Hood: And my brothers?
Blinkin: There were all killed by the plague.
Robin Hood: My dog, Pogo?
Blinkin: Run over by a carriage.
Robin Hood: My goldfish, Goldie?
Blinkin: Eaten by the cat.
Robin Hood: My cat?
Blinkin: Choked on the goldfish.


Robin Hood: Lend me your ears!
[Crowd proceeds to pull off ears and throw them at Robin
Robin Hood: That's disgusting!

Scarlet: Blinkin! Fix your boobs; you look like a bleedin' Picasso!

Prince John: Send word to one and all, and all and one... that's a little redundant, isn't it?

Maid Marian: This means you've always been my one true love because it's just the right size!
Sheriff of Rottingham: It's not the size that counts... It's how you use it!

Robin Hood: BLINKIN!
Blinkin: Master Robin, Is that you?
Robin Hood: Yes.
Blinkin: What back from the Crusades?
Robin Hood: Yes.
Blinkin: And alive?
Robin Hood[pause yes.

Maid Marian: Broomhilde, there's a foul plot afoot.
Broomhilde: It's not my feet, I just washed them.

Janet Evanovich

"Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing."

-- Ranger Mañoso

"If we were gonna stalk someone it wouldn't be no chicken impersonator working for minimum wage."

-- Lulu

“Babe. You just looked me up and down like I was lunch.”
“I need a doughnut. I really need a doughnut.”
“That would have been my second guess.”

-- Ranger & Steph

I knew Ranger was beside me because I could see his earring gleaming in the moonlight. Everything else about him--his T-shirt, his flack vest, his slicked-back hair, and 9-mm Glock--was as black as the night. Even his skin tone seemed to darken in shade. Ricardo Carlos Manoso, the Cuban-American chameleon.

-- Steph

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Pretension by haleigh.l reviews
Julie runs away from home and enlists help from Stephanie. They end up staying with Ranger in the batcave for three weeks. Hilarity, stalkers, bedlam, and angst ensue. Rating for mild language and violence. Post LMT, but no major LMT spoliers Babe fic
Janet Evanovich - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Angst - Chapters: 23 - Words: 96,176 - Reviews: 779 - Favs: 346 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 7/19/2007 - Published: 6/23/2007 - Complete
Now What? by alate reviews
What Steph gets into after EoT.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 25 - Words: 73,726 - Reviews: 505 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 2/2/2007 - Published: 9/4/2006 - Complete
Joy and pain by Bine2889 reviews
Changes can lead to happiness, or to problems.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 17 - Words: 26,507 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 1/9/2007 - Published: 9/11/2006
Holy Water by Delirium's Child reviews
Janet Evanovich. Stephanie Plum. After Ten Big Ones. A song fic from Holy Water by Big & Rich.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,157 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/11/2004 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Time to Figure it All Out reviews
RS! A little OOC. Do you remember Abruzzi? His brothers do, and they’re out to get Steph. How will she survive? Will Ranger be with her? And just what does Joe have to do with everything? Read to find out...
Janet Evanovich - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 22,570 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 10/16/2007 - Published: 11/14/2006
Testy Love reviews
DN. Numair and Daine go through changes. They have difficulties with their relationship at first and when things finally start to get better, something happens...something involving a certain scribe. please R&R NOW COMPLETE
Song of the Lioness - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 10,061 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 8/9/2006 - Published: 2/7/2006 - Tortall, Tortall - Complete
Alanna and Geroge's Wedding reviews
exactly what the title says please R&R this is my first fic and i wanna kno if i should bother writing any more.
Song of the Lioness - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,090 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/31/2006 - Tortall, Tortall - Complete