Stewart MacDonald
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Joined 02-07-06, id: 986144, Profile Updated: 02-16-10
Author has written 7 stories for Mario, Legend of Zelda, Super Smash Brothers, Misc. Games, and Soul Calibur.

My Profile Thing-Intro Where I Talk About Stuff

News from the Stewey Ward

Now I live in St. Thomas. It's occurred to me I move a lot. Hmm. Chapter two of the Soul Calibur story is up, and it rocks as much as the first one. Made me laugh out loud in the school library, at least. That's gotta count XP Enjoy!

Shadowman : A Novelization has been officially started, so fans of my works and Shadowman alike may bask in the prologue, a nice morbid tale of Jack the Ripper in London, 1888. It also involves everyones favourite master of the Apocalypse, Legion. A must read to completely comprehend the goings on in Tears of Darkness, and the true manipulative power of Legion. For We Are Many, folks.

A Brief History of Madness

(Heh, I said brief)

When I was ten, I was always into video games, and writing. I also loved making fun of stuff. Eventually I would write little one chapter Mario stories, usually side-splitting little tomes where the plumber gets into hideous predicaments. One of the first was, ironically, Mario Goes To Canada, where the brothers get terrorized by beavers. This continued for a while, with other infamous shorts, such as Mario Gets A Job, Mario Gets a Car and Mario's Closet. When I hit Grade Eight, I had an idea. An idea so odd, and so perfect, that I couldn't let it go. It was going to be a full story. It was to be called, Peach's Birthday. So I wrote it out on paper, complete with illustrations and little eraser marks. It became one of my best stories on here today. It has undergone a lot of revision before it's perfected state, and it could still use some, but I'm proud to call it my first works.

Then I was introduced to Fanfiction by one of my closest friends and fellow authors on this site, RedWheeler. She advised me to it while we were discussing writing about Mario stuff, or something like that. So I signed up. At first I was confused, being rather young and frankly, stupid, and I simply let it rot for about a year. That summer, I logged back on, and with grim determination, typed out Chapter One for Peach's Birthday. People liked it, so I kept going, and I'm still going today.

Last year, while playing Ocarina of Time, I realised that Ganondorf had no story. He was an angry, wretch of a warlock who emerged from an obscure race of people to conquer Hyrule. Why? What made him take such disdain to the peaceful land? I plopped down on my computer and began to write. Tears Of Darkness began on some dark, boring night while I had nothing better to do. Actually, my best ideas spring from these, or from being in deep currents of emotion, usually rage, sadness, or just plain happiness.

A little after Tears Of Darkness was born, news slipped out about the new Wii, and the new Super Smash Bros Brawl. So I did some digging, and came up with a list of possible characters that pissed me off. Here we have Pit, a little angel dude who nobody's heard about save for a trophy on SSBM. Then we have the ominous possibility of Sonic and his faggy mammal cohorts. When I compare this with other Nintendo greats who have yet to make an appearance, I get angry. Majora, Diddy, Shadowman! So many amazing characters! They can't deny Shadowman because he's obscure; So were fucking Ice-Climbers! So were Marth and Roy! Nintendo's appealing to all the little fanboys and girls instead of the people who want to see a good game. So I sat down, and vented my rage into Super Smash Bros. Massacre.

I then became further enraged by the lack of categories for some amazing games. Shadowman, Hexen, and others. Then I realised I had some humor to release. The infamous Jr. Kirby, an invention of mine thought up years before, needed to emerge from the shadows. Morteth, the demon Grigori of Shadowman2, had to be known!! And, I had to make fun of wiggerishness and gangster rap at the same time. So, the idea for Gangsta Fo' A Week was created.

In my conquest for shedding light on underappreciated characters, I thought of Ingo. With discrimination, I checked under his character for stories based on him, and found one. Surprise, surprise, he was an evil, creepy bad guy! He's a god damn human, people! He's got anger, he's had life throw shit at him, too, I'm sure! Someone had to write a decent story about his past, and so I did. A Job I Love is doing nicely as well, I'm trying to procure the next chapter, bear with me.

So now we come to the present. Ideas spin inside my head, amidst bad feelings, good feelings, and random blips of thought. (Was that a duck?) Never mind. Most of these ideas and bad feelings are conveyed into my fictionpress songs. Tainted was born, my nasty, demented way of saying "Hey, I'm not just a shadow in the backdrop! I exist, and I write some creepy shit!" But fanfiction has not been forgotten. Ideas for two new stories are up, and I'm about ready to try a oneshot soon. Keep your fingers crossed! Stewey out!

Personal Info

Name: Stewart MacDonald

Gender: Male, obviously.

Nicknames: Stewey, Al.

Age: 18. One god damn motherfucking year away from being able to buy my own booze and smokes.

Fave Video Games(In order of how much I like them):Resident Evil, Final Fantasy 7 to 10, Shadowman, Mario Series, Super Smash Bros. Series, and The Legend Of Zelda. Hexen.

Fave Music: Avenged Sevenfold, Rise Against, From Autumn To Ashes, My Chemical Romance, Our Lady Peace, Sum 41, Papa Roach, Evanescence, Opeth, Behemoth.

Fave Books: Pretty much anything by Stephen King, brilliant man. The Lord of The Rings trilogy, as I was growing up my mom would read me a chapter from these books before I went to sleep, starting with The Hobbit, until I was 10. It got me hooked on fiction and fantasy.

Fave Characters: Cait Sith and his fat Mog, these guys kick ass and make awesome fanfiction characters. Ganondorf, he's always been the bomb, huge nose set aside. Michael Leroi, aka Shadowman, this is a rather obscure game people know very little about, but it really kicks ass. Baritus, the fighter from the game Hexen, also rather obscure, he's fun to make a shy, bumbling fool in fanfictions. Bowser, he's always been a cool character. Legion, he's the main antagonist in Shadowman 1, and also a dude in the bible, you know, For We Are Many, all that psycho obscure shit. Hes pretty cool, especially his demon form.

Tv Shows: Not much, ironically. Television holds little enjoyment for me, and I just watch movies and play video games on the machine. In that case, movies I like, Euro Trip, DodgeBall, and House on Haunted Hill. Anything with Will Ferrel, Chris Kattan, Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson or Ben Stiller. American Pie series. I'm a fan of slapstick comedy, in all forms. Book or movie. If I did have a fave show, it would be South Park.

Some Random Info:

Story Preferences:(Reading) I really enjoy a good, not too borderline humor story. Funny senseless violence, swearing, and mild sexual jokes are what make humor fanfics so damn funny. For the more serious ones, I enjoy some good fight scenes, accompanied with a little bit of tragedy. If I read story, I usually review it, and I encourage others to do the same. God damn it! Why can't they have a Shadowman section! WHY!

Story Preferences:(Writing) I write humor and a serious story here and there. I do pretty much what I like to read above, and for serious, I do action, tragedy and a little romance. No yaoi or yuri, not that I'm against it, its just not something I write or enjoy reading. I'm a Nintendo fan, so in gaming thats usually what I'm all about. Final Fantasy is good too, so expect a little of that. Coming up with a wrestling one soon.

Personality: Well, to some I seem like a rather crazy, funny, reckless individual, but only the select few get to see my emotional caring side. I enjoy humor stories, but I also like the good heartfelt, serious story when I feel like it. Wow I have a short paragraph on personality. I almost forgot it was here. Come to think of it, I really don't need this, see? Because all you have to do to get to know me is read this profile thing, and a couple of my stories. See the logic? Personally, I don't. But hell.

By the way, if your reading this profile, I encourage you to read my stories and review them if possible. It aint that hard to read over a couple stories and tell me your thoughts on it. Not to pressure you, it would just be nice to know what people think.

Things That Piss Me Off

Okay, some people might chastise me for having a hate list. This isn't a hate list. This is things that honest to God, piss me off. And I'm not like those people who go on and state all these things that they absolutely despise without listing any reasons. There are long, descriptive reasons after each piss-off, as I call them. Some may offend you, some may make you cry laughing, I don't give a shit. These are things that truly piss me off. Of course it will be long. I'm an angry fellow. I don't get sad or mad, I get insanely furious. Those with a weak tolerance for four letter words, skip this section.

Memory Cards and Storage Devices: Alright, so you're gonna be like, why? You can save so much shit on them! Yes, you can. But is it really worth it when you get asked 999999999 times where you want to save your data? Or whether or not you want to overwrite the save file, when you've clearly been playing only that file for the whole time you've owned the game? Seriously. With all the advancements in technology, you'd think it'd be able to recognize that you only have one device to save to, and not even bother asking you aboot it.

Slow Drivers: Fuck, if theres one thing that pisses me off more, it'll be on this list. But for now... Those bastards. It says 70, not -89. It's always the fucking old people. Ever notice that? Theres no gray matter with them. They go infuriatingly fucking slow or intensely fucking fast. Never any actually close to the speed limit.

Inuyasha: Don't question this one or try to convert me otherwise. I'm a loyal fan of the game Shadowman 1 and 2, and a very loyal fan of the enemies in both those games, or; demons. Hellish creatures, usually with horns and long reptillian tails, and a pair of bat-like wings. As soon as I get a new scanner I'll put up some links for my drawings of some of these legitimate demons. Then I saw Inuyasha. Cat-demons? DOG-DEMONS? What the bleeding fuck? I don;t waste half an hour watching these little japanese drawings hopping around with furry ears claiming to be demons. I'd like to see an internet cartoon of the Grigori Sephiroth vs. The Entire Fucking Cast of that show. Except for Shippo. He's cool. This is my biggest rant, because this is my biggest piss-off. One of the G.S could probably send those fuckers gibbering and shitting their pants, I'd bet Ogouferay, because he's all mind-games and fear and shit. Another piss off about this, Demons cannot cross-breed. There is no such thing as a half demon. I won't get into the technicalities of this; because its creepy to rant about that. But for one... What kind of depraved demon would get jiggy with a human anyways. The entire existence of demons is about annihalating the human race! Jesus, its all shit. Thats it for this one.

One-Liner Reviews: This isn't so big, but still bad enough to annoy me. The whole point of reviews is telling the author what you thought, or possibly what you liked about the story. And what could be improved. Don't get me wrong reviews are great. But not. "0 g4Wdz, funneh! Rite more plez." That doesnt tell me anything about your reaction to the story other than, "I can't spell! Ha ha! By the way! I'm laughing cuz your story was funneh! Ha ha!" I like the reviews that go on to tell you what they liked about the story, and their thoughts on the current update and chapter. These are good. Surprisingly, I even like being criticized within reason. So come on people. Get real.

A Lot of Hits and No Reviews: This is a huge piss-off. Example, right now for Peach's Birthday I have over 1000 hits, A fucking THOUSAND!! Thats great! Right? NO! Compare a thousand to nineteen. See the problem? I'd actually prefer a thousand one-liners too a thousand silences...However, its still cool to know people read my shit, so until things get really stupid, (Like 3000 hits and no other reviews...) I'll keep it at this.

Forwarded E-mails: There is no end to them, you've probably seen them all. Theres only actually about 6 of them, but we've all obtained about a million of them in our inbox each year. I'd like to remove the intestines of whoever starts this shit and strangle the life out of them with their own bowels. (Ooops! Shadorsis moment!) I get all hopeful when I open my inbox, expecting more reviews, to get this shit. And now they're getting sneaky about them too. Like, instead of forwarding them, they copy and paste them, Then send them off with a subject of, "Hey" or "No subject". Ohhh... You got me there guys. You made me accidentally open an e-mail containing some queer love story that will kill me if I don't send it to Eighty thousand other people in ten milliseconds. Good one. Now how would you like it if I walk over to your house at night and beat the fuck out of you with a bit of wood?? See thats how irritating these things are. If everyone just stopped fucking reading them, they'd just, poof, stop! But no... You want your lover to call you at midnight or prevent a rabid beaver from emerging from your underwear drawer by sending it to thousands of other people that don't give a fuck. Or, even better! A creepy little dead girl who will eat your testicles (Or ovaries) if you don't forward the story of her tragic, (Not to mention entirely false) death to nine hundred people! Accompanied, of course, by a gruesome picture of a decomposing corpse. Jesus Jumped Up Christ. Cut it out, now.

Horse Movies: One of the worse cliche's of modern film-making. If I see another movie about a girl who wants to ride a disobedient or wild horse, I'll dropkick the fuck out of whoever keeps these repeatitive movies coming. Books too, not just movies. Theres no end to them. And they all have these retarded names too. And just when I thought they couldnt get any more lame and more stupid... Theres another one entitled "Flicka" Sounds like some fucking japanese dish. I'd like to know what Japanese is for; "Stop making fucking horse movies, dick-nose." Honest to god.

Racism, Sexism, and Homophobia: Okay, this is a big one, if not as long. People who go around making fun of people who are black, Chinese, Canadian, whatever. Get the fuck over yourself. Half the people who do this are 4 feet tall snivelling rat-face fuckers who need a good tossing anyways. If your ever subject to that shit; lay a good beating on whoevers doing it. I know I do, even if it's not towards me. Sexism is bad too, like saying "You hit like a girl!" People who say this have obviously never been hit by a girl. It's pretty much a compliment. Homophobia, is just stupid. People with differing sexual preference than you, doesnt make them any less human. You can sit down and have a perfectly civil conversation with them, the only people I discriminate against are the people who discriminate against others, by doing this, you make yourselves all the same. Stupid, annoying, and on the road to getting kicked in the face.

Preview Commercials: Whether it be for movies, new episodes of shows, or games, 90 percent of these commercials suck. For fucking one; They completely distort the image of show/game/movie itself! They make great pieces look hideously repulsive, or stupid movies/games/shows look good. For Christ's sake. Two, they almost always give away three quarters of the damn thing! Already it's showing a scene where the main character dies or something, or someone doing something really sweet. Thats cool and all, but the surprise effect would be a lot cooler. I mean, seeing Tony Jaa kick the shit out of an adrenaline pumped freak and not knowing it was coming would have been amazing! (Ong Bak: Tony Jaa) But the damned commercials had already showed the scene and killed some of the excitement for me. So yeah. I hate these for a damn good reason.

This next topic I didn't want to put up here, as it kind of goes against what I hate already, making me sound like a hypocrite, but after trying to look up a decent Cid Highwind story for an hour, I gave up. Because of...

Stupid, Endless Yaoi/Yuri Fictions: For God's sake. Now there's nothing wrong with gay relationship. In fact, it's a good thing that we have it legalized in Canada, as it shows we take pride in all things unique and embrace difference. But, when people from a game, aren't gay in a game, and you fucking people write endless stories about cool characters being gay with each other, I get frustrated. I would take a Ganondorf/Zelda pairing over that! Honest-fucking-ly! I know, I know, it's CUTE! Because Vincent cramming Cid in the ass is just so innocent and comical. I don't know how I fucking missed it. And not just that, but we see Tifa/Aeris, or Zelda/Malon, or numerous other idiotic pairings. Heres my opinion. Every yaoi/yuri should have the warning, OOC, or Out Of Character. Because, in a nutshell, Vincents not gay. Cids not gay. Ganondorf, is not fucking gay, and as much as it pains me to say this, Link, is not gay. So stop already. Jesus, they should have a seperate category altogether for that shit, and any story violating it under other categories get deleted. Thats all I gotta say.

Fangirls/boys: People who go gaga over someone or something because a certain character is "hawt", piss me off. People who read a story that doesn't support their views and then flame it, regardless of how good it was, piss me off. These people are honestly pathetic. It's okay to like a character, but when you flounce about declaring everyone elses taste unfit, your being a prick, and are probably going to recieve a special meeting with my foot and your face. God help me if I actually get a review burning me for pairing Sephiroth with someone he isn't supposed to be with. I'll hunt you down and gut you with a rusty scalpel. Or maybe I'll dedicate a one-shot dissing your idolised character. And you'll most likely recieve a slot on my profile under my Flamer Motivation section, where I make fun fo you and make up a sick, twisted life story for you.

My Stories

Here's where I put a more indepth description to my writing works, as it doesnt give you much space to put enough of a description to really enthrall a readers attention.

Tears Of Darkness: Ganondorf, one of the most infamous antagonists of all time, was defeated by Link and locked in the Sacred Realm. Now, he has nothing but the sordid memories of his heart wrenching past. Enduring memories of heart break, power, and tragedy, Ganondorf wallows in his pain and sorrow as he awaits forgiveness and a second chance. His recollections break way to an extraordinary new adventure, in which a deadly antagonist sets out to twist Hyrule to his sadistic ends. Action/Adventure and Tragedy. M, Violence, Language. Category: Zelda

Authors Notes: Tears Of Darkness: This is probably one of the best stories I've ever attempted to write. The characters have superior depth, the action and combat scenes are vividly woven, and the tragedy succeeds in being heart wrenching. And I have so much more planned for this particular story. Read it and review it!

Peach's Birthday: Mario sets out to prepare for his girlfriends birthday, all he needs is a cake, and he can finally prove he isnt quite the worthless sack of shit everyone thinks he is. But can he ever smite the truth like that? Encountering numerous past allies, and characters returned with a dark vengeance on their minds, Mario and DK team up in a quest that will have you laughing your ass off. M for Extreme Language, Violence, and Mild Sexual Humor. I lied. I have run dry on inspiration for this. But I refuse to discontinue! No, it'll just be on hiatus for a very long time!

Authors Notes: Peach's Birthday: I read it over, and realised that the first chapter is very discouraging to the rest of the story. It has bad spelling and grammar, and horrible format. However, the story evolves into beautifully paragraphed, stacked humor. So don't let the first little bit discourage you from the rest of the story. So don't hesitate to read the whole thing and tell me your thoughts! HOLAH SHIT!! Over 1000 hits now! I should be happy, but I'm actually pissed off, knowing how many people are reading this and comparing it to the number of reviews I have. Holy Christ, folks, is it that fucking hard?

Super Smash Bros. Massacre: When Master Hand plans the next generation of Super Smash Bros, a certain individual violently disagrees with the choice of character. In a bloody rage, many of the planned characters are brutally killed and tortured, and unplanned newcomers show up at the opening celebration. Can Master Hand make this work? One things for sure, calling it Brawl won't work any more. Get ready for Super Smash Bros Massacre.

Authors Notes: Fans of Sonic and other stupid characters who get killed in this I give you fair warning, either A) Do not read this in the first place, or B) Read it, swallow your pride and admit that its funny, and hopefully leave a good review. Heh, just changed the name due to the fact someone else had a story with virtually the same title. I hate it when that happens. It's massacre now.

Gangsta Fo' A Week: A collision of characters in my first cross over. After a horrific accident, Jr. Kirby comes with a proposal. He'll give the people most affected 4 million dollars if; they can make it as a card carrying member of The Midgar Hood... For one whole week. The 4 agree, to lead up the most odd, hilarious adventure in my writings yet. Rated T for the appearance of Dk and Jr. Kirby.

A Job I Love: I know, I lied. But, a new story! The past of Ingo and his bitterness with Talon! The one shot Ingo has at true love is blown asunder by a knife in the back. As time progresses, Ingo's rage grows as he watches the one he loves slip into neglect and finally death, and he can do nothing but watch from the sidelines as he works his heart for the one true thing he loves: His job.

Authors Notes: Personally I love this story, even though I've never been an Ingo fan. Just the heartbreak and wholesomeness of this sad, wonderful story makes me shiver just rereading it. The anger towards certain characters comes into effect and sympathy for others, that we may have never felt before. We get to watch the development of a character no one has ever liked, and find a soft spot for the angry ranch hand. Enjoy this one.

A Shadowman Novelization: When the land of the dead is struck by a force that threatens to fuse it with the land of the living, there is only one being who can even come near standing against it. Michael LeRoi, a taxi-driver gone undead walker between the worlds, must use his power to fend off The End of All Things. He must go through insane serial killers, hordes of the undead, headless policemen, and walk a place of twisted evil and strike down the demonic entity which controls it. This story is Mature, for sure.

You're Not As Smart As You Aren't: My first Soul Calibur Two story. Friends since public school, room-mates Sigfried, Yoshimitsu and Voldo struggle through everyday life. Dealing with Sigfried's girlfriend's irate sister, angry cops, and Voldo's hideous habit of doing nothing at all, can these pals stick together? Humor, humor and more humor.

Stories That Have Not Yet Come To Pass Or Future Works

I may have some stories I'm hoping to have ago here soon. Here's a brief description for these stories that have peiced together in my twisted mind, and not yet typed or written. Just to keep you on your toes.

Ask The Love Doctor: Cloud, madly in love with Tifa, but unable to voice his feelings, turns to self proclaimed, "Love Doctors", Cait Sith and Reno. Of course, this duo have really no idea how Cloud should approach the vivacious bar-maid. Actually, they're only "Love Doctors" to help pay off the debt for the plasma TV Rude bought, and is a week away from being repossesed. That lawsuit from McSlushies is'nt helping much either. Can Cait Sith and Reno pair up this dream couple? Or will this whole thing collapse around them? Humor, Romance. Undecided rating. Category: Final Fantasy VII, CloudXTifa, And I'm gonna pair Reno wit someone... But i dont know who...

River of Blood: My first wrestling fic. Small town kid decides to pursue his dreams of professional wrestling, along with his best friend. They enter the WWE as the amazing tag team of Dark Legion, BloodBath and X-Beast as their stage names. After the first week, enemies are already made, along with steadfast friends. And of course, a little love interest, BloodBath finds himself falling for the tough and gorgeous Sadie Dark, a fairly new diva herself. However, BloodBath's crude and rather individual attitude lands him in the wrong side of the wrong people. Can he work his way through his carreer with the help of his friends, or will he fall, like so many unique Superstars before him? T, for some crude language, some violence. Comedy, Stupidness, all that.

Being Dead Kicks Ass!-A Resident Evil oneshot about a drunk and his friends who become zombies in the infamous mansion. Yet retain their minds. They discover they can have the ultimate party. Hey! Alcohol poisoning won't do shit! But the ultimate party is crashed by some gun-toting killjoys that go by the name: S.T.A.R.S... Whats a corpse to do?

Tidbits of Knowledge That Could Prove Useful

Hey folks, somebody asked me once how I manage to stay so happy and mellow, no matter what kind of shit I get myself into. So I thought about it, and I came up with a few reasons. Now, I think I should share them, so maybe other people can benifit.

Try and stop and take life in once in a while. No matter how utterly miserable and hopeless your life is, there's always a way to have fun and forget about the bad shit. Spend time with friends and do stuff that makes you you. There'll always be people who respect you for who you are and are simply exalted to be in your presence.

No matter how fucking cheesie this sounds, try doing a good turn for people. If someone brings you down, question their motives, point out the stupidity of their actions, but do this nicely. You could end up making a new friend. Respect people no matter their interests. Disregard these things entirely. Base your friends on who they are, not on what they like or what other people call them. I hate Fall Out Boy and Panic At The Disco, and also numerous country singers, but that doesnt stop me from having friends completely obsessed with it.

Getting pissed off doesn't solve anything. However, you can beat the living shit out of someone and not be pissed off. I do it all the time. If people insult me, it's a simple law to me that they have to have their faces rearranged, and some shoeprints imprinted into cheek bones. But I'm straying from the point. Sometimes fighting is a surefire way to shut someone the fuck up, but the best way would be to respect others and not have any reason for conflict. If everyone would just abide by this, we would have no assholes and dickwads like we experience through life so often. Just give it a thought.

Special Thanks To-

All my readers, and extra special sparkling thanks to everyone who reviewed!

Tollgatekeeper: For making me laugh my ass off on my spare time between writing chapters, you write great humor and come to think of it, you just write great. All your other stories appealed to me as well, great job!

Evil Riggs: One of the best writers this site has to offer, and owner of one of the most creative minds I've ever encountered. His Zelda fiction is the most original pieces I've read, and probably will read. He's currently working on his second installment of this fanfiction, and it's magnificent.

Biggoron: For being a constant reviewer of Tears of Darkness, and a great writer himself.

KaizenYokoshima: Another reviewer of Tears of Darkness, and the father of another brilliant Zelda fic entitled Hylian Legends. If you're into Zelda, check it out. Also one of the writers whose work made me start to delve into the more serious aspects of my writing, and indirectly introduced me to Fictionpress.

Windows Media Player: For giving me something to listen to while writing, so I didn't slip slowly into madness hearing nothing but the tap-tap-tapping of keys.

RedWheeler: For being an amazing friend through all the parts of my life. And of course, for writing great stories. Thats two more one-shots than I could ever procure! Good luck with your future writing!

Psicosis Reflection, Aka Emma Lea: Your becoming a great writer, and also beginning to frustrate me on Day Of Reckoning Two, Damn you, RVD! You can't best the BloodBath!

Rattle and Hum (Formerly AnnalisaVK): For being a religious reviewer of my Peach's Birthday story. I have a feeling you're going to like the next installment. You write brilliant humor, especially when involved with certain bumbling apes.

Shadow Princess 15: You've reviewed virtually all my stuff on here, and now your on fictionpress too! You've been as good a friend as one can be over a fan fiction website, so thanks! Good luck on the new site!

Trevor, Jeremy, Ayla and all you guys at school!-If I didn't have people like you by my side then I'd still be that angry kid I used to be who would hide in the corner and drown himself in his own regrets. Thanks for getting me to laugh at myself, for thats when a person really discovers who they are. I owe you all a lot.

Oh yes. A big thanks to anyone who reads this and is offended. By all means, send me an email explaining how offended you are. I'll be happy to know I havent lost my touch! I look forward to hearing from you. In fact, you may just begin a new section in which I attempt to profile people who send me hate mail. I know, it sounds mean, and cruel, but I think it would be fun. I can read a person very well by just reading hate-mail from them! You may disagree with the whacked out descriptions I'll give you. But I dont. By sending me hatemail youget the honor of being the victim of a desacratory paragraph full of mean, sarcastic and just weird insults, all brewed by yours truly.

Anyone else who changed my life for the better, thanks. I'll never forget the people who helped me through the rough patches my rather odd life has dragged me over. You guys are what keeps me laughing and smiling. All people included in the Special Thanks, this is to you too. I don't think I could've got so far without you guys. Thanks for being there. I'll miss you all when I move to Sask

Stewey out!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Legend of Zelda: The Pendant of Peril (old version) by LocalTalent53 reviews
Rewrite being uploaded. Old version kept here for reference points, revision comparisons, and for old reviews to be respected and remain intact.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 36 - Words: 158,774 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/25/2012 - Published: 11/27/2007 - Link - Complete
The Green Horizon by Evil Riggs reviews
Outsider Linus Olsen navigates an increasingly alien Hyrule. As war approaches from the north, he must adapt or die. Part II of The Legend of Zelda: Shadow Dawn. Rated M for drugs, coitus, cursing, and the old ultraviolence.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 48 - Words: 265,912 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 8/16/2012 - Published: 10/17/2007 - Complete
The Amber Twilight by Evil Riggs reviews
Born under the light of strange times and portents, an unlikely hero must accept a familiar, painful responsibility. A reimagining of the series. Part I of The Legend of Zelda: Shadow Dawn. Rated M for sex, drugs, harsh language, and arterial spray.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 28 - Words: 53,877 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 8/15/2012 - Published: 10/28/2006 - Complete
Her Knight in Shining Armor by TheGoddessKnight reviews
So the Hero of Time and the Princess have fallen in love. Our favorite farm girl feels unloved. Time with the new ranch hand and she starts feeling something she never felt before. But could she be certain anyone could love her?
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 48,006 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/27/2008 - Published: 10/31/2006 - Complete
The Best Medicine by RedWheeler reviews
The I in illness is isolation, the crucial letters in wellness are we. TyHil Oneshot.
Beyblade - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,030 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/31/2007 - [Tyson G./Takao K., Hilary/Hiromi T.] - Complete
Teacher's Revenge by RedWheeler reviews
Miss Kincaid feels she is going crazy because of her two students' constant bickering, so she turns to a small strand in math for help. Now... where did she put those handcuffs? TyHil Complete.
Beyblade - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 81,166 - Reviews: 241 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 6/10/2007 - Published: 2/18/2006 - [Tyson G./Takao K., Hilary/Hiromi T.] - Complete
Highschool: Heaven or Hell? by emmiiee'ox reviews
Mike Mizanin is like most teenage guys: getting through highschool one step at a time. Starting with... an interesting bus ride?
Wrestling - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 16,667 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 1/9/2007 - Published: 10/10/2006
As The Stars Call by RedWheeler reviews
They seemed brighter these evenings, inviting almost, reaching out towards him with promise. But they weren't what necessarily made him stay. Oneshot, TysonxHilary.
Beyblade - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,113 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/28/2006 - [Tyson G./Takao K., Hilary/Hiromi T.] - Complete
Hylian Legends by KaizenYokoshima reviews
You fight for a lifetime and the things you once conquered effortlessly have returned and surpassed you immensely. What do you do when everything you've learned seems to have lost its worth, and when everything you've loved seems to be fleeting you grasp?
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 76,087 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/22/2006 - Published: 6/1/2006
Have some holiday cheer! by emmiiee'ox reviews
ONESHOT! It's Christmas eve, and at the WWE headquarters, a large christmas tree is set up. Underneath it are brightly wrapped presents. One person disagrees with this idea. I mean, who needs all this Christmas crap?
Wrestling - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,002 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/12/2006 - Complete
Link's Trials by Tollgatekeeper reviews
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time reimagined in a more mature style. A short story where Link must face his fears and doubts and become a true hero. Link and Malon pairing.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 80,676 - Reviews: 189 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 12/4/2006 - Published: 2/14/2006 - Link, Malon
Forced to Live by Beautiful Cerberus reviews
Vincent tells Lucrecia how he feels about his fate. Oneshot.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: K - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 380 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/3/2006 - Vincent V., Lucrecia C. - Complete
Look, Register and Ignore by RedWheeler reviews
It's amazing how some people who live miles away are sometimes closer than those who are just down the street. Friendship fic, Oneshot.
Beyblade - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,995 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/17/2006 - Tyson G./Takao K., Hilary/Hiromi T. - Complete
The Legend of Kaepora Gaebora by Biggoron reviews
Do you want to know the TRUE story of the gigantic owl that we all know and hate? From his life, to his death, this is the spoof Oneshot of Kaepora Gaebora. You may find it funny... so please R&R
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,332 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 11 - Published: 7/7/2006 - Kaepora Gaebora - Complete
The New Challengers: Side B by Tollgatekeeper reviews
A collection of short stories of different genres starring characters from my The New Challengers story.
Super Smash Brothers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,053 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/27/2006 - Published: 6/12/2006
The New Challengers by Tollgatekeeper reviews
All the Smashers are summoned to a new tournament, but they don't realize that Master Hand, in his boredom and quest for higher ratings, has sought out new competitors. Will these new challengers prove too much for the original cast?
Super Smash Brothers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 20,961 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/8/2006 - Published: 3/27/2006
My Adventure with Mario by Tollgatekeeper reviews
Todd's been hired to help Mario snap out of his depression, but can the teenager survive a trip to the Mushroom Kingdom when Luigi, Toad and even D.K won't leave him alone? Check out this crazy and humorous fic.
Mario - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 20,610 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/3/2006 - Published: 2/5/2006 - Mario
Goodbye Yoshi by UncleRemus 5000 II reviews
Don't you just hate Yoshi? Well I do, and so does Mario, and this poem talks about it. Rated R for language, even though it really isn't too bad. This is not your average poem.
Mario - Rated: M - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 242 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 4 - Published: 5/14/2004
Mario's Journey to Cake by UncleRemus 5000 II reviews
Peach has baked a cake for Mario, but when Mario goes to pick it up, several obstacles, such as mean old guys, try to stop him from getting to the cake! Mario will receive help from old friends, but will he ever get to his beloved cake?
Mario - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 345 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/19/2003
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You're Not As Smart As You Aren't reviews
Sigfried and Yoshimitsu, friends since childhood, become roommates to maintain rent on Sigfried's new house. However, when a third roommate, Voldo, who believe laziness is an art, move in, things get a little off kilter, well, more so. T for language.
Soul Calibur - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,277 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/22/2009 - Published: 1/26/2008
Peach's Birthday reviews
Mario is trusted with the simple task of buying Peach a cake for her birthday. Nothin' to it, right? A lot to it. Stupidity, randomness and just plain irony lead to an epic tale of toilet humor, nutshots, and other nameless atrocities. M for language.
Mario - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 17,560 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/24/2007 - Published: 2/14/2006 - Mario, DK
A Job I Love reviews
Ingo's always been seen as a bitter and angry fellow, yet we never really know why. Sure, Talon is apparently lazy, but is that all? I say no in this story of Ingo's past. T for mild language.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,237 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/17/2007 - Published: 12/4/2006 - Ingo
Shadowman : A Novelization reviews
My unique and twisted novelization of the darkest, scariest and most underrated game ever created, Shadowman. T for now, but it may change if I feel like taking it to the next level gorewise. Read and review, and hopefully enjoy.
Misc. Games - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,961 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/22/2007
Super Smash Bros Massacre reviews
What happens when the entire plan for Super Smash Bros Brawl is altered in a violent and destructive way? And Master Hand is unable to remedy this disaster? Super Smash Bros Massacre, thats what! First Chapter has some high swearing, but T it is.
Super Smash Brothers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,482 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/29/2007 - Published: 7/18/2006
Dying Star reviews
The glint of ice in a murders eye, As cold as the light from a dying star. Enter Legion, and abandon all hope.
Misc. Games - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,856 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/4/2007 - Complete
The Tears of Darkness reviews
The sordid tale of Ganondorf's past evolves into a present day struggle against malice itself. Ganondorf and Link, along with the tortured human Herris, must join together and take on the One Who Is Many. M for violence and language.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 42,333 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 11/26/2006 - Published: 6/12/2006 - Ganondorf, Link