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Joined 08-02-01, id: 99816
Author has written 12 stories for Pokémon.
Hi, and welcome to the Croutons Anonymous group therapy session for socially challenged cretins.


Hi, my name is Emma, and I'm a socially challenged cretin. But enough about me, let's talk about me.

Age: 17

Personal Facts: I'm an English student (the lesson, not the country) who studies Media, psychology, Law, on the side. Hopes one day to become a stinkin' rich journalist and bringing in mucho bling bling (i.e: lots of cash). Of course, if I happen to win the lottery, then all plans are null and void.

Am currently busking for money to afford a ticket to America or Down Under. You know me, I'm the one with the harmonica and pitbull terrier.

Hometown: South En-ger-land. Home of football yobs, incompetant sports teams and - of course - me (spot the difference!)

My greatest pet peeves:
What makes me spit food? Well, a lot of things. But some things in particular:

1. Ash and Misty's *coughcough* relationship. There are so, so many reasons why this just makes me fall off my chair in hysterical laughter. A) Ash is a cretin. B) So are all the characters. C) So is anyone that believes they'll be taken seriously.

But that's what makes it fun!

In my oh-so-humble opinion:
The writers are sadistic, bored, and are all doped up to the eyeballs. If they weren't in their office filling supposedly innocent cartoons with crossdressers, horny teens, and barf-a-rific pre-pubescent romances, they'd all be just sitting at their desks drinking their skinny tall lattes and playing air hockey. Yes, it might sound fun, but where's the love?!

fave shows: Friends, Neighbours, Spaced, So Graham Norton, Triggerhappy TV, Da Ali G show, Absolutely Fabulous... whatever prevents me thinking too hard and takes me away from the drudgery of life.

Fave food: Last weeks pizza which I just found under the couch.

Shippings: I'm fairly open-minded (yes, such people do exist). Whatever. Gymshipping mostly. Deeeeeal with it.
Shippings I dislike: You've probably already guessed, but... AAML. I'm sorry, I like the characters, but never together. It's incredibly irritating seeing one cliched, done to death story after another. Allow me to give y'all an example:

Ahs nd Msty wre fghting.

i hate u ash kutchm, said msty.

no i hate u msty, said ahs.

i secretley luv him but cant tell hm that, thort msty

oh msty i luv u, sed ash

i luv u 2 ash, sed msty

they kissd. the end.

Ok, I know that was a little inaccurate. After all, I used comma's and full stops.

Please don't take this the wrong way. There are excellent stories out there and some of these pokeshippy authors I've spoken to are very nice people who are very good writers and I love you all. Air kisses to all of you. The only problem I have is with people who throw out the kind of stuff I just demonstrated. There are too many of them. I'm calling the Bad Grammar police.

Anywaaaay, I believe that nothing *will* ever happen in Pokemon, because lets face it - its a childrens show. Not a mushy teenage soap opera like Dawsons Creek where they tackle issues or relationships. That's why I watch Pokemon. Because. it's. plain. stupid.

Obviously, some militant, die hard fan out there has disagreed with something or possibly everything I have said, so if you want a slanging match... or to just generally chat (which is nicer, if a lot less exciting)... I have an email as you can see above, or send me a message on Yahoo IM and MSN. My Yahoo name's emma_ukgurl (yes, it is a lame name, whatcha gonna do about it?), and I have finally figured out the MSN so contact me at emma_penny8@hotmail.com. Go on, do it. I just love yapping away to people! But I'm kinda boring.

Not much.

Having to do work - One day, Arse met Sofa. A love affair was born.
Soap Operas - Wow. Mindy the dentist is having an affair with her husbands sister who is secretly dating Jack's evil twin who's brother is in a coma because of Mary's dog who is secretly sleeping with the hamsters mother. Do plots get any better than this?
People asking me what I'm thinking - Nothing. I'm thinking nothing. When will you learn?
Young children - It's not that I don't like them. It's just that they scaaaaaaare me.

Now quotes - for the sake of looking smarter than I am.

"If you think you are important - put your hand in some water, take it out, and see how much of a hole you've left." -- Bruce Davies

"All the things I really like to do in life are either illegal, immoral, or fattening"

"Man's greatest invention - the car. Designed by a computer, built by a robot, driven by a moron".

Now if you'll excuse me, I think the goldfish are calling me.

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Wishes and Regrets reviews
[Sequel to No More Happy Endings] Years later, three very regretful people wonder what went wrong...
Pokémon - Rated: K - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,901 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 9/2/2002
No More Happy Endings reviews
An experimental piece. Part biography on a character who's often only seen as the underdog. Angst, depression, and conversations around the campfire.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,168 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/2/2002
Another Day In Hell reviews
Just when Brock needs his friends most, it seems they've all turned their backs on him... *chapter 4 added*
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 16,982 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 2/7/2002 - Published: 11/27/2001
War On The Dancefloor reviews
The group are challenged to a dance contest. But some are determined to win at any means...
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,323 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/20/2001
Till Morning Comes reviews
Loads of Misty angst, a little bit of Brock angst, and just angst in general
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,670 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/17/2001
From Russia with Love reviews
Well, basically Brock's on the rebound and decides to set his sights a little futher afield.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,844 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 9/23/2001
A Question Of Luck reviews
This story's a little out of season, like those Christmas specials on tv which are shown in July. But I was just watching a show set in New Year when I got hit by... "inspiration"!
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,388 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 9/13/2001
Promises reviews
This story's clean, just a few swearwords in the authors note. A short story of the gymshippy kind. I didn't write this, I swear! I found it on the cutting room floor! They cut it out of the show, the fiends!
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,931 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 9/9/2001
Why Brock should never ever get drunk reviews
This isn't even funny. It's just a dumb story I wrote in ten minutes after having a weird dream about Brock getting drunk....
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 979 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/2/2001
Why Can't You See? reviews
It's a gymshippy... another one! Just angst, angst, angst...
Pokémon - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,162 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/31/2001
Lost a Penny, Found a Sixpence reviews
This is a story for cutiepie's egoshipping contest, sooo..... that means it is Gary/Misty. Pokeshippers reeeeally won't like this, so don't read it if you *know* you're just going to flame it.
Pokémon - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,802 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/24/2001
Eternity reviews
This is my first fanfic at ff.net, so don't be too harsh..... short, weird gymshippy.
Pokémon - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,065 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/10/2001