Poll: Should "Journey" be slash? Vote Now!
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Author has written 2 stories for Fruits Basket, Harry Potter, and Twilight. Hi! I'm Victoria Noble, I'm 21 years old, female, and currently an English major in college. "Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it." Unknown "I'm insane. I'm sexually deprived. I'm a badass wizard. Take your pick." Harry Potter from the fanfiction Withering Rose. "'What are you doing these days?' 'Committing suicide by cigarette.'" From the book Welcome to the Monkey House by Kurt Vonnegut "The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide." From the book Welcome to the Monkey House by Kurt Vonnegut "Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you." By Fran Leibowitz "Well excuse me for not seeing the appeal of clobbering my fellow man with a stick." from the fanfiction Family Means More Then Blood "In a fight between a Chihuahua and an Alsatian, the Chihuahua wins. How? Does flame-retardant mean a retard on fire or an object that can't catch fire? How do you catch fire? Doesn't it burn your hands? Hey, I know! The Chihuahua could kill the Alsatian by getting stuck in its throat!" From the fanfiction Stress Remedy thought by Bakura "Yay, I'm a cute little bunny! Oh fuck it." From the fanfiction Stress Remedy thought by Bakura "My right eye is twitching AGAIN! I vow to one day find a cure for this evil twitch. Well, I'll force someone else to do it for me at knife-point, but you get the idea." From the fanfiction Stress Remedy thought by Bakura "Good heavens Lawrence! Why are you slapping a monkey?!" From the movie Night at the Museum "I concede defeat to the power of the chili powder." From the book Named Well Book two of the Namesake Tales "...could not have been more surprised if tap-dancing ninjas had suddenly stormed the house and threatened to impale him with sporks." From the Yu-Gi-Oh! Fanfiction A Requiem for Innocence, thought by Yami "Heero wasn't on the planning committee but Duo's involvement automatically guaranteed that he would be helping in any way that he could. Including by obtaining gargantuan produce if his partner wanted it." From the fanfiction Fall Fair by Calic0cat, part of the Holidays Series ""I don't know, it's just a feeling." He whispered back just as quietly. "Just trust me would you?" "Fine, but if this goes pear shaped it's your fault."" Random Fanfiction ""Is there anyone you are interested in?" Tallis asked, curious as to who could have caught the blond Slytherin's eye. "Not really. There are a few cute Ravenclaw girls but no one I'm actively trying to get. There's a hot Gryffindor I was kind of interested in but I doubt it would work." "Who?" Tallis asked, curious as to which Gryffindor it was. "A sixth year, Ella O'Neill. She's not terribly smart but she has the most gorgeous legs I've ever seen, Gryffindor or not. I wouldn't mind having her for a while," he said, smirking. "Is it really necessary to subject me to this juvenile locker room talk?" Severus asked dryly. "This is hardly locker room talk, Sev. We can undoubtedly get dirty if you really want us to though," Draco said with a smirk. Bill decided to get in the spirit of things. Not to mention he always enjoyed making Severus squirm. Talking about sex always made Severus squirm, especially if his son was present. "I once dated a guy who had a Prince Albert." At Severus' blank look Bill elaborated. "He had his dick pierced-" "Hey! Locker room talk is supposed to be about girls!" Draco protested, clutching his legs together at the sheer thought of such a piercing. "Um...I once kissed a girl" Tallis put in helpfully. He scrunched up his nose at the memory. "It was kind of gross though," he said as an afterthought. "I think I made her cry." Draco snorted loudly at that statement. Severus had to turn away to hide his smile but his shaking shoulders gave away his silent laughter. "I once accidentally felt a girl up." Bill supplied. "How do you accidentally feel a girl up?" Tallis asked, curious as to how such a thing could even happen. Draco simply shook his head in disbelief at what he was hearing. Bill blushed. "Well, I tripped over my bag, in the potions classroom, actually Severus, and fell into this poor Hufflepuff's chair. I tried to catch myself and accidentally...grabbed...um, her. So Severus actually witnessed my first and only sexual experience with a girl. Bet that makes you feel special, huh?" Severus refused to even dignify that question with a grunt. "Hmm...together we sort of make a straight guy, huh?" "You two are hopeless" Draco muttered. "I really need some straight friends." "Most of Bill's brothers are straight" Tallis put in helpfully. Draco was saved from trying to form a response to that bit of information by his godfather's timely snarky comments. "Well, after that unnecessary and slightly disturbing insight into all of your sex lives, I believe we should return to work."" From the Harry Potter Fanfiction Skin Deep Itachi Uchiha's Lessons on Survival for Wizards From the fanfiction Itachi and the Prisoner of Azkaban "Lesson one; Do not antagonize the ninja." "Lesson two, throw something small; it's less likely to be caught." "Lesson three, don't throw things at ninja; they can dodge better then you can throw and don't take kindly to it." "Lesson four; never go after someone far more powerful then you when you know they're out to kill you." "Lesson five; The best retaliations are the ones they do not expect." "Lesson six; Wait until the opportune moment." "Lesson seven; Sleep when you can." "Lesson eight; always be prepared." "Lesson nine; when telling a lie, feign innocence by asking a question about it." "Lesson ten; A good ninja never reveals their secrets." The Rules of Being a Ninja From the fanfiction Itachi and the Prisoner of Azkaban "Ninja Rule number one; Always adapt." "Ninja rule number two; Always be prepared." "Ninja rule number six; Always be familiar with your supplies." "Socks on polished marble, traction does not make." From the fanfiction Harry Potter and the Host Club "So they gave him away?" "... I'm afraid so my boy." "I told you so." "I know my boy, and I sincerely wished that I had listened." "You lost the savior of the wizarding world." "You lost him." "Severus. For once in your life. Shut up."" From the fanfiction Arashi ni narimasu by Lyn908 "That was how Harry found himself tackled to the floor of a moving vehicle with a boy that outweighed him by at least forty to fifty pounds on top of him, forcing a phial of calming potions down his throat." From the fanfiction Harry Potter and the Host Club "We spend our whole life trying to figure out the truth and the only way we'll find out what it is, is to get hit by a bus." John Ryman, When Galaxies Collide "It's an adventure, great. But for me, it's destiny. It is something that I can't change, something that I can't escape. I'm stuck!" Buffy Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer "Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts." Drebin, Naked Gun 2 1/2 "Fate is dictated by irony. Either that or a dark sense of humor." Unknown "Everyone is cannon fodder. Eventually." Unknown "Screaming is for when you don't have anything better to do." Unknown "To speak without thinking is to shoot without aiming." Unknown "Silence is golden, duct tape is silver." Unknown "That which doesn't kill me has made a tactical error." Unknown "Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable, we have to alter it every six months." Unknown "On a side note, wouldn't it be fun to live in a padded room? Just think about it, you could run around and never worry about stubbing your toe. You could run full-steam into the wall and just bounce right off. On second thought, maybe I am crazy. Crazy, but not insane, you understand. There is quite a large difference. And yes, I'm grinning like a true lunatic as I write this." From the fanfiction Asylum by Spooks "Time had hiccupped. Time is not supposed to hiccup." From the fanfiction Asylum by Spooks "Some would call us privileged... I say we're the unprivileged." From the Fanfiction Bleeding Sun by DoYouReallySeeMe "Ha! I have a werewolf! Try and attack me now, weirdos!" From the fanfiction Bloody Skies by Toki Mirage "Futue te ipsum et caballum tuum." Latin for: Screw you and the horse you rode in on." From the Fanfiction Melanin by Aisling-Siobhan "Jack realized that he should not have resorted to violence as a first instinct. While Santa realized he should not have been talking smack to begin with - That's just not cool." Gaia Online Storyline Manga #7 Page 14 "The harems! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo! However, like piers, you have suggested the dimension hopping... meh. I may have to try my hand at it, though it's considerably hard to pull off Naruto's power in any other anime world, except perhaps Bleach or Dragon Ball Z where explosions of huge amounts of power are quite common. However, Naruto isn't a screamer, so DBZ is out due to the whole... "HEAR ME RAWR AS I ACCUMULATE POWAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" thing is kinda a 'no'." From the author's response to a review for the Fanfiction The Calamity of the Sorceress by Kyrrlatur |