catzetier
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Joined 11-13-17, id: 9984867, Profile Updated: 03-16-18
Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter, and Discworld.

Hello. I'm catzetier, which username is based on a combination of English and German. I was previously known as dreamspell on fictionalley.org, but it's years since I've been on there and I've managed to entirely forget my password, so...

Anyway. I've reposted a one-shot I did as dreamspell (many, MANY years ago - back in the Dark Ages) which I still find funny... although since it's a Discworld/Harry Potter crossover it couldn't really be anything BUT hilarious in aim. That one's called Death's Horcrux and it's the first fanfiction I ever completed that had at least a little bit of plot attached, even if it was only there to hang the jokes off of. And now, thanks to me being new to this site and therefore struggling with the upload process, it's a TWOshot... because I didn't mark it as complete and two people added it to their Story Alerts. I couldn't disappoint them. :)

Apart from that one story, it's all going to be new stuff if stories appear at all. I only manage to write when I either have a brainwave or a deadline, and since this is fanfiction there are no deadlines involved - ergo brainwave it will have to be. I also don't do well with plotting out stories in advance, so what happens is that I write them all the way to the end and then go back and plug any plotholes. This in turn means that I will never start posting a story that isn't already finished. It drives me mad when I start reading a tale and it stops halfway-though and never goes any further, so I aim to never do that myself. If I ever do post something incomplete that has been abandoned due to lack of interest, I will warn you in the summary. Promise. :)

My imagination tends to be either utterly crackpot or dark enough to scare me half to death. When I write funny, I let "crackpot" have full control. When I write serious, I try to keep a lid on "dark" so that I can actually enjoy reading my own stories. I'm a Christian, and I found that giving Dilemma's Horns to Jesus to have Lordship over really helped with this (to most of you this probably makes no sense, but it's the key reason why the story is not diabolically dark in every sense of the word "diabolical" - and don't worry; I vomit at hopelessly pushy Christian writing as much as anyone! If you have to shove it down people's throats then it's a badly-written story. Case in point: my favourite film is and will probably forever be Dragonheart which is almost unbelievably Christian in terms of theme and worldview but above all just tells a fantastic story, and it was marketed as a secular film... and I can't stand most of the stuff that's found on the shelves of the local Christian bookshop!)

And one thing that my imagination has never, ever done is romance - I will put up with it when reading, but if it's the main point of the story I won't see ANY point to the story. So if you're looking for romance, you won't find it here. The most you'll find here is friendship. My fic is exclusively gen.

What else? Let's see... well, I'm in my thirties and apparently haven't grown up yet. My main fandom is Harry Potter, but I went off the originals years ago because of a really disturbing bit of subtext that I don't think Rowling noticed, but which I couldn't ignore. Thank Anne B. Walsh's Dangerverse (whydoyouneedtoknow on this site) for me sticking around until her Be Careful, which in turn meant that I could actually revisit the story that's been haunting me ever since the Prisoner of Azkaban BOOK came out without giving myself nightmares. Her Be Careful is the key reason why Dilemma's Horns got continued past the second chapter - where it was abandoned ten years ago - at all. (BTW, everybody - if you like Harry Potter fics, check out her stuff!) Dilemma's Horns is now completed, and I'm delighted with how well it turned out.

I enjoy fanstuff (for the most part) in Harry Potter, Rise of the Guardians, Sherlock, The Phantom of the Opera, and Pokemon (this last is why I don't think I've grown up yet).


The way I'm working my favourite stories/authors lists is like this:

  • If I like a great deal of the author's work, and they've written more than two stories, they make it onto my favourite authors list. (This only applies to stories in fandoms I like. There are people on this site who've written literally hundreds of stories in twenty different fandoms, and just because I like a person's Sherlock fic doesn't mean I'll ever even THINK of reading their Stephen King stuff. For example.)
  • If the author's only written a couple of things, or I only like one or two things, the stories I like make it onto my favourite stories list.
  • This means that if an author is on my favourite authors list, none of their stories will be on my favourite stories list. And vice versa.

    Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

    Other People's Choices by Lomonaaeren reviews
    AU. The Sorting Hat doesn't just let the Sword go when it falls on Harry's head in the Chamber, but also Sorts him again, this time into Slytherin. Harry is furious and terrified, and the adults aren't helping much.
    Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 57 - Words: 181,667 - Reviews: 2252 - Favs: 2,558 - Follows: 3,403 - Updated: 16h - Published: 12/12/2016 - Harry P., Severus S., Sorting Hat
    Because Why Not by starspangledpumpkin reviews
    Hermione was just a scrappy, autistic child with no name and no past until she was adopted by a wonderful pair of dentists. The summer after she would make the best friend she would ever have from Ottery St. Catchpole. How much more would her life change when she is told that that tingling sensation she felt in her very core is magic? Now in Year 3
    Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 59 - Words: 228,411 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 233 - Follows: 392 - Updated: 6/17 - Published: 6/24/2017 - [Hermione G., Cedric D.]
    Ashes of the Past by Saphroneth reviews
    Time travel, based on the Anime. So, the world ended. That's bad news. Who best to get to fix it? Well, there is this guy with a track record in world saving... Not entirely serious. T rating may be overdoing it.
    Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 272 - Words: 1,682,957 - Reviews: 13283 - Favs: 6,369 - Follows: 5,855 - Updated: 6/15 - Published: 8/7/2011 - Ash K./Satoshi, Pikachu
    Crazy Like a Snake by Sacred Dust reviews
    Destiny goes flying out the window when dotty, eccentric Luna Lovegood is sorted into Slytherin. Draco thinks it's an outrage. Snape thinks fate is punishing him. Harry and his friends don't know what to think. Luna suspects the nargles. [Chamber of Secrets AU - grey Luna, smart Draco]
    Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 17 - Words: 128,876 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 6/13 - Published: 1/13 - [Draco M., Luna L.] Hermione G., Ginny W.
    Luna Lovegood and the Dark Lord's Diary by The madness in me reviews
    Tom Riddle's plans fall through when Ginny Weasly loses his diary shortly after starting her first year and it is found by one Luna Lovegood. A series of bizarre conversations follow. Luna? - Yes Tom? - I've been giving this a lot of thought...and I believe you may be insane. (Plot takes a few chapters to appear but it's there)
    Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 85 - Words: 52,330 - Reviews: 2624 - Favs: 1,767 - Follows: 2,200 - Updated: 5/26 - Published: 3/16/2017 - Luna L., Tom R. Jr.
    Harry Potter and the Prince of Slytherin by The Sinister Man reviews
    Harry Potter was Sorted into Slytherin after a crappy childhood. His brother Jim is believed to be the BWL. Think you know this story? Think again. Year Three (Harry Potter and the Death Eater Menace) starts on 9/1/16. NO romantic pairings prior to Fourth Year. Basically good Dumbledore and Weasleys. Limited bashing (mainly of James).
    Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 102 - Words: 688,104 - Reviews: 9212 - Favs: 8,380 - Follows: 9,811 - Updated: 5/17 - Published: 4/17/2015 - Harry P., Hermione G., Neville L., Theodore N.
    Escape from Brextwistle Hall by Arnel 63 reviews
    Looking through an old trunk shouldn't pose much of a threat, but when the trunk is in the Grimmauld Place attic, mysterious things can happen, especially if you are Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley.
    Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,879 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/4 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
    Blindness by AngelaStarCat reviews
    Harry Potter is not standing up in his crib when the Killing Curse strikes him, and the cursed scar has far more terrible consequences. But some souls will not be broken by horrible circumstance. Some people won't let the world drag them down. Strong men rise from such beginnings, and powerful gifts can be gained in terrible curses. (HP/HG, Scientist!Harry)
    Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 37 - Words: 314,541 - Reviews: 4257 - Favs: 9,942 - Follows: 11,563 - Updated: 1/29 - Published: 1/1/2015 - Harry P., Hermione G.
    Monstrous by The Mad Mad Reviewer reviews
    Something new has arrived in the Forbidden Forest, and the Boy-Who-Lived never arrived at Hogwarts.
    Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 33,831 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 1,206 - Follows: 408 - Published: 12/10/2017 - Complete
    Slytherins at War by PsychoCellist reviews
    The Gryffindor method can work - bold, blustery, and loud. The upside to this "Magic is Might" business is that when it comes to protecting your Muggle-born friends, well, a pureblood can use subtler tricks.
    Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,510 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/21/2017 - Dolores U., OC - Complete
    Against the Moon by Stoplight Delight reviews
    The odds were stacked against him: a child from a blended home with no friends, no social skills to speak of, and a terrible secret. Yet slowly Remus Lupin began to discover there was a place for him in the world, if he could find the courage to claim it.
    Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 134 - Words: 852,703 - Reviews: 4665 - Favs: 1,525 - Follows: 1,493 - Updated: 10/2/2017 - Published: 8/19/2011 - Sirius B., Remus L., James P., Peter P.
    The Perils of Innocence by avidbeader reviews
    AU. In an institute to help children with psychological issues, a child is abandoned by his guardians because he does extraordinary things. Rather than fear him, the doctors work to help him try to control this ability. They discover other children with these incredible powers. And then odd letters arrive one summer day. Rating will probably go up later. Eventual H/Hr.
    Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 98,203 - Reviews: 3319 - Favs: 6,057 - Follows: 8,040 - Updated: 9/24/2017 - Published: 8/14/2012 - Harry P., Hermione G.
    Stay by HannahFranziska reviews
    Sirius is released from Azkaban, once more a free man, to find that there is nothing left of his old family. Moony has had almost seven years to move on and Harry… well, he has found new parents in his aunt and uncle and does not even remember his godfather. Following a desperate need to make up for lost time, he goes looking for a purpose and promptly finds one he hadn't expected.
    Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 87,952 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 233 - Follows: 390 - Updated: 9/2/2017 - Published: 3/8/2016 - Harry P., Sirius B., Remus L.
    What If by Fyreheart reviews
    This is a series of one-shot stories and miscellaneous scenes about what if Harry had responded differently to key events in his life.
    Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 47,732 - Reviews: 1171 - Favs: 1,648 - Follows: 1,714 - Updated: 8/21/2017 - Published: 5/25/2015 - Harry P.
    Harry Potter and Questionable Rites by jukehero461 reviews
    Harry performs a rite that he really should have thought twice about...
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,080 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 56 - Published: 8/11/2017 - Harry P., Death - Complete
    Anything is Quite Possible by fringeperson reviews
    If you know who to ask, then 'anything' really is possible, provided you're willing to pay equal to the value of your desire. Lily will do anything to protect her baby. Rumplestiltskin is rather fond of that word. Rumbelle later, and other pairings. Don't own. Complete!
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 19 - Words: 58,062 - Reviews: 436 - Favs: 1,208 - Follows: 947 - Updated: 6/29/2017 - Published: 2/23/2017 - [Belle/Lacey, Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold] Harry P. - Complete
    A Dramatic Reading by White Squirrel reviews
    Umbridge finds seven books about Harry Potter from another dimension in the Room of Requirement and decides to read them aloud to the school in an ill-advised attempt to discredit Dumbledore. Hilarity ensues. Features an actual plot, realistic reactions, decent pacing, *and minimal quotations*.
    Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 18 - Words: 56,579 - Reviews: 744 - Favs: 2,063 - Follows: 1,732 - Updated: 4/2/2017 - Published: 1/15/2017 - Harry P. - Complete
    I Know Not, and I Cannot Know--Yet I Live and I Love by billowsandsmoke reviews
    Severus Snape has his emotions in check. He knows that he experiences anger and self-loathing and a bitter yearning, and that he rarely deviates from that spectrum… Until the first-year Luna Lovegood arrives to his class wearing a wreath of baby's breath. Over the next six years, an odd friendship grows between the two, and Snape is not sure how he feels about any of it.
    Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 32,578 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 634 - Follows: 124 - Published: 4/30/2016 - Harry P., Severus S., Luna L. - Complete
    For Love of Horses by AngelaStarCat reviews
    If Lily and Petunia had a single bond that remained between them through the years: a love of horses. What difference would it make to a single orphaned boy? Alternative Universe, dual Petunia Evans and Harry Potter's POV. Because sometimes we just want Harry to leave Britain behind, and horses are a good enough reason to do so.
    Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,466 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 616 - Follows: 152 - Published: 12/31/2015 - Harry P., Petunia D. - Complete
    Gear Shift by FinalArc reviews
    The people around Hiccup begin to realize that not all his wounds can be fixed by a trip to the forge, and his metal leg is the least crippled thing about him. Vikings and Dragons aren't known for delicacy, but they do their best to right past wrongs and heal scars.
    How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 83,744 - Reviews: 199 - Favs: 636 - Follows: 280 - Updated: 9/22/2014 - Published: 7/26/2014 - Hiccup, Toothless, Astrid, Stoick - Complete
    Like No One Ever Was by FinalArc reviews
    Nature brought the tornado, Team Rocket got them stuck in it, Age caused the building's collapse, and Bad Luck did the rest. But none of them are to blame for electrocuting Ash to the point of brain damage. That's all on Pikachu.
    Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 224,945 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 462 - Follows: 258 - Updated: 6/21/2014 - Published: 11/6/2011 - Ash K./Satoshi, Pikachu - Complete
    What I Did On My Holiday, as Told By Me, Severus Snape by EcoWarriorX reviews
    Short, look-back-in-time version of Holidays. Slytherin and Gryffindor students have been seen actually talking and actually holding hands! The school is in uproar and the mystery needs solved. What happened last summer? And why, oh why, is Severus in the thick of it again? Professor McGonagall investigates, and makes him write it all down in his own incomparable style...
    Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,383 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/3/2013 - Sirius B., James P., Lily Evans P., Severus S. - Complete
    A Promise From Her Boy by PsychoCellist reviews
    It did not occur to Harry Potter to wonder why his Snowy Hedwig was so much more affectionate than the other owls. It did not occur to him he would ever need to care. That's why she waited to tell him. (Canon compliant)
    Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 20,587 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 522 - Follows: 146 - Published: 12/4/2012 - Harry P., Hedwig - Complete
    Harry Hightop by fringeperson reviews
    oneshot. complete. don't own. Lily Evans was daughter of Alice Evans nee Kingsley and the man she had an affair with after she'd found a man outside of Underland who she loved enough to marry. Harry is the grandson of Tarrant Hightop: The Mad Hatter.
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Alice in Wonderland, 2010 - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,016 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 2,300 - Follows: 518 - Published: 7/1/2011 - Harry P., Alice K. - Complete
    insurgere by Silver Pard reviews
    Hufflepuff is the house of the leftovers, the losers, the forgotten. Well, Tom Riddle thinks, it's time to change that.
    Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,414 - Reviews: 469 - Favs: 3,189 - Follows: 572 - Published: 3/27/2010 - Tom R. Jr. - Complete
    The Memory of Water by whitehound reviews
    A view of the Voldemort wars, from beneath the surface.
    Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,096 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/9/2010 - Severus S., Salazar S. - Complete
    Into the Ether by duj reviews
    WIP, SSHG, DH-compatible. "Dear Hermione..." Twenty years after the Battle of Hogwarts, she thought she'd received all the letters there were, and despaired. But there was still one letter to come...
    Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 34,466 - Reviews: 347 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 11/19/2009 - Published: 6/24/2007 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
    Fair Trade by BajaB reviews
    AU one-shot set after sixth year. Harry confronts Voldemort with an alternate reason for some of the Dark's Lord's failures, and offers to help him out, for a price.
    Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,559 - Reviews: 369 - Favs: 2,798 - Follows: 602 - Published: 1/25/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
    A Different Fate by lordhellebore reviews
    AU: JKR portrays Harry as completely unaffected by trhe Killing Curse cast at him, but how would things have gone if it had been different? Drabble series, five drabbles per chapter.
    Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 7,025 - Reviews: 745 - Favs: 1,956 - Follows: 382 - Updated: 12/27/2008 - Published: 3/5/2008 - [Petunia D., Remus L.] Harry P., Dudley D. - Complete
    L'étranger Éclairé Par la Lune by Dark Magician Girl Aeris reviews
    Full moons often bring out the hidden qualities in all of us, and Mewtwo is no exception. All he meant to do was ask a few questions for the sake of his own curiosity. He didn't really plan on saving a life... ONE SHOT
    Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,080 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/29/2008 - Mewtwo - Complete
    The Greatest Minister of Magic by BajaB reviews
    “...take the steps I have suggested, and you will be remembered, in office or out, as one of the bravest and greatest Ministers of Magic we have ever known.” - Albus Dumbledore – Goblet of Fire
    Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,767 - Reviews: 374 - Favs: 1,484 - Follows: 349 - Published: 8/20/2008 - Complete
    Fox Ears by The Starhorse reviews
    The Weasley family is deep in mourning after the battle of Hogwarts, but George has better ideas than to sit around and cry about something he'd rather just fix. And Charlie believes he can do it. Post DH, Charlie's POV.
    Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,648 - Reviews: 526 - Favs: 1,544 - Follows: 152 - Published: 1/13/2008 - George W., Charlie W. - Complete
    Innocence by Dark Magician Girl Aeris reviews
    Living by a mountain town, Mewtwo has plenty of time to dwell over the corruption of the human species... or to ponder over one pure life. It is never fair when innocence has to suffer harm at the hands of man. Never. One shot, Mewtwo centric. Again...
    Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,445 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/16/2007 - Mewtwo - Complete
    Duet for One by whitehound reviews
    In order to pass as a Death Eater, Snape must rotate the dark side of his mind forwards and suppress every good thought and impulse which might betray him to the Dark Lord, but doing so isn't exactly psychologically healthy.
    Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,243 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 31 - Published: 4/29/2007 - Severus S. - Complete
    Hell or Hex by TheFox101 reviews
    Dangerverse: The Pride is stuck in Grimmauld Place for the remainder of the summer before Fifth Year. Bored and hot, they play a Gryffindorized version of Truth or Dare. Heaven help Headquarters.
    Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,374 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 8/9/2006 - Published: 8/8/2006 - Complete
    The Children by samvimes reviews
    After the war, we gather to remember. And none of us escape unscathed, least of all Draco Malfoy...
    Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,831 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 25 - Published: 5/16/2003 - Draco M.
    A Sorting Song by Severus by Textualsphinx reviews
    BLOODY BRILLIANT Award Winner. Who but Severus would write a song that insults every house but his own in polysyllabic rhyming couplets? If Rowling were in her grave, she'd be spinning..
    Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,378 - Reviews: 472 - Favs: 1,242 - Follows: 133 - Published: 3/25/2002
    Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

    Dilemma's Horns reviews
    AU of PoA. Gen. Sirius took a different corridor on his way out of Azkaban and encountered another innocent locked in a cell - and he couldn't leave him behind. But the problem with any dilemma is that it never has just TWO horns, and in choosing to rescue him, Sirius has opened up a whole lot of complications...
    Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 28 - Words: 79,847 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 3/10 - Published: 12/2/2017 - Sirius B., OC - Complete
    Death's Horcrux reviews
    Death is unimpressed with Voldemort's quest for immortality, especially when it involves his property, but is determined to be patient nevertheless. Voldemort is unimpressed with Death's interference and is most decidedly not going to be patient. The ensuing confrontation can only be described as "...FUN".
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,398 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/27/2017 - Published: 11/14/2017 - Voldemort, Peter P., Death, Death of Rats - Complete