Ariel Lenore
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Joined 07-01-03, id: 410662
Author has written 7 stories for Invader Zim, Ico, Suikoden, and Jhonen Vasquez.

All writers write to express an idea, an emotion, a dream. The problem is how they express it. A writer may have a limited vocabulary, or limited time or space in which to liberate themselves onto paper. Fortunately, typing is fast and easy, and on almost every computer lays therein a dictionary and thesaurus at the writers use. Also fortunate for the writer, is the reader. If all else fails, a reader will help the writer in any way one can, so that the writer will write better and feel more confident in one's writing.

It's hard not to take a critique hurtfully, because writing comes from within; and one may feel that a critique is an attack on the personal being. But all writers must know, as all artists of any kind, that all readers are critiques, and all critiques do is express what they believe that all readers critique when they read one's writing. Dear writer, do not be offended by a critique; if it is done honestly, gracefully, and with good intentions, then a writer must know such a thing is just trying to help one grow and learn. So take it in good humor and relax. Even if you disagree, remember this:

A bud cannot reach the stars if it cannot grow, and a bud cannot grow without learning why he is still on the ground. Always ask "Why?" and one will surely grow to be as tall as the stars.

Advise I often give:

FIRST and FOREMOST: Read the Guidelines! You must sign it every seven days, and they are available to you straight from your account because the moderators want you to read them! Don’t skip it just because it’s long. Trust them. They have gone through the trouble to help you and everyone get along and do a good job, and they have been doing it for a long time.

Read your story out loud to yourself Every single word. Ask yourself: Does it sound nice as well as make sense? Everyone reads inside of his or her head differently, but most people read out-loud similarly. Therefore, this method is a good way to check if others can read the way you intended to write.

Present, Past, and Future Tense

Keep the tense the same throughout the story, so the reader can differentiate when the story is taking place. To keep from being confusing, only switch during the story for flashbacks, daydreams, memories, etc. Technically, you can mix past and present tense verbs (sort of); but this is natural in language, so it’s not too much of a worry.


You don’t need to tell the reader that someone is having a flashback if we know the character, and what has already progressed. If it’s smooth enough, the reader will know that the character is having a memory. Throwing in the word "Flashback" is redundant to read, and repugnant to look at, within the delicate story.

If you are near enough to the beginning of the story to cut and paste the flashback to the beginning, then do so. If not, make a new chapter or do some text art to clarify. Otherwise, the reader is smart enough to add it up.

Point of View

You do not need to separate the fact that it is someone else’s point of view. If you are in character, then the reader will know whom you are talking about. Make a new paragraph, or make a new chapter.


Rewrite what you have written. Read everything you have written and edit, cut, crop, tidy-up, correct, revise, add, paste, delete, etc. Put what you want to say in the right place. It’s up to you to make sure the reader reads what you have written correctly. Ask yourself: “Does it look good? Does it sound good? Does it make sense?”

Use punctuation; colons: commas, exclamations! “quotations” semicolons; periods. You don’t have to cram every detail about a person, or their actions in one sentence. Sometimes simply ending a sentence is better than letting it run on and on. Re-read sentences out-loud to yourself. Which parts of it are repetitive or redundant, that you can delete or alter? Which words are required, and which are disposable? Use the thesaurus on your computer, or a dictionary. Find the exact word you want to use and use it.

Don’t be afraid of making a new paragraph. Because uses simple text formatting, you need to double-space every paragraph including when a person is speaking. Do not have two characters speak in the same paragraph; Make a new paragraph whenever a new person speaks. If you cram everything everyone does and says, in long run-on sentences, into one paragraph, it will distract the reader from what you are trying to say.

Take your time. I know you want to hurry up and write all that is in your heart but if you want your reader to appreciate every word in your masterpiece, then you need to make your work look and feel like a masterpiece. Using correct punctuation, making new paragraphs, and taking the time to describe everything you deem necessary, really shows through to the reader, and every reader enjoys a well cared for text.

Think it through: It's easier to make it clear for the reader the first time you write your story, than to expect the reader to be confused, and then purposely leave it that way.


From: "She expertly got out two more bottles of Coke (not the drug!)."

To: "She expertly got out two more bottles of Coca-Cola."

-Courtesy of Sugar, Nougat, & Butterflies. First Lady Senryu of Hokkaido.

Canon Characters:

Canon (fiction), a body of works that are considered to be "genuine" or "official" within a certain fictional universe.” From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Keeping in character is important to the reader. If you are out of character, then the reader will be in disbelief, and won’t be as engrossed with the story as you have intended them to be. You want the reader to forget that he/she is reading something that was made by a fan, and not the original creator; you want the characters’ actions to be believable within that character’s personality.

When you are in a character, ask yourself: “Why would that character do such a thing?” And make a list of all the options. You can (and should) research all questionable actions (i.e. suicide, anorexia, drugs, food, religion, history, people, places) online and find out why people do such things, the effects, and the facts, and how you can incorporate that into the character/story.

Original Characters:

Personally, I like added personal touch of original characters, but most people don’t because the writer usually has to force the cannon characters to change their personalities for the original character.

For example, in the story Precious by Rogue Kyne, she introduced an Original Character Shina. There is nothing wrong with that, but she introduced this character in the same paragraph that she had been with Jaques, a canon character from Suikoden 3, for the three previous months, but said no more about her.

In other fanfictions, the canon character Jaques usually ends up dating canon character Aila because this was hinted at a few times during the video game. My advise to her was that she keep it keep it that way until she had a chance to make a story that involved Shina more completely.

Original Character “Shina” copyrighted. Courtesy of: Rogue Kyne. Precious.

Works In Progress:

My Ico and Suikoden fanfics. I began writing these so long ago that I forgot how they were supposed to end, so critiquing them is good for me to get my butt moving. Imagines a butt trying to type on keyboard But I SWEAR I will get them done eventually.

Please critique my writings! I don't mean "lol tell me how good i am!" I mean, really, get dirt on your fingers and tell me how to be better. It's actually rather encouraging to know people like to read my writing enough to make it better. Writing takes most people a long time, and I’m no exception.

UPDATES as of November 5th through November 11th.

I really need a break from Beautiful Budehucs; for a while. I am thinking about a Chris oneshot, but that can wait until Beautiful Budahuc is done. But I also want this break for the sake of having a break; to relax and create some of my many other ideas for myself (and not I am planning on finishing both my Suikoden and Ico fanfictions soon though, so please don't give up on me!

I also want to take this break to write a Sesami Street oneshot as well. Please be with me when I upload it!

UPDATE: Hi. I havne't been here recently. I've been REWRITING my old stuff, unstead of writing more.

About me: I love animals! Especially my two cats and my two little ferrets. The other day I found them all curled up around each other sleeping in the closet. it was SO adorable!

I really like to write and draw and read, and paint and go to the park and volunteer at the animal shelter and cook and go for walks/jogs.

I also love Futurama, Ren and Stimpy, Elfquest, various classic Disney DVD releases, various fantasy movies like Willow.

I am 20 years old, I have a full time job and I am a full time student, right now I am working on a childs psychiatry and teaching degree, with a minor in fine arts and japanese so that my boyfriend and I can, when we graduate go to Japan and teach english there for a year or two.

I'm delving back into a very spiritual journey, and it has lead me to find some peace in my life. I've been happier and happier recently, and my life seems to be very slowly working itself out. I'm learning to trust myself more, and let God/dess flow through me and help others, which is very rewarding and satisfying. Im learning how to better support myself spiritually, mentally, and physically. It's amazing what ginseng can do. I feel a lot less sick, and my stomach aches have been declining. Im not so sad looking in the face and my skin has taken on this nice glow. It's so amazing being able to trust oneself comepletely. I know that only I can move through my obsticles and go on my path. I know what choices to make for myself and if I falter, I know whom else I can trust to help me back on my feet.

Also... Im counting down the days until my birthday! Weee! Whe I turn 21, I shall go to a bar and order orange juice. PLAIN OLD ORANGEJUICE. Hahaha, I get a kick out f myself. I am hillarious.

So enough about me, lets talk about you.

hahaa, omg, im so funny! oh man, im just too much for myself! ROFL LOL ;p (sp?)KTHNX

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This is what Mr NightA writes as poetry reviews
Srsly, drugs are veeeeeeeeeeeery baaaaaaaaad. I didnt know what meth was or that it existed until I watched this documentary on the study of Meth on Oregon. ITS PAINFULLY HORRIBLE. This is Jimmy, who is a crack in the butt of Meester Vasquez.
Jhonen Vasquez - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 555 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1/26/2007 - Jimmy, Johnny C. - Complete
Beautiful Budahucs's Lingering Lost'Love Letters reviews
Five years after 3, a sleezy Laywer seizes the oporunity to get richer when Thomas' father dies. Juan is in the way of Cecile's plans...of love? S3: IS 180
Suikoden - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,893 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/4/2006 - Published: 10/22/2006
The Story About Ico That I Wrote 5 Years Late reviews
Exitement, Adventure, ROMANCE possibly, why not. After the game that you played, The Knights of the Queen won't let Ico and Yorda live in peace. They have their own plans for Yorda's future.I EDITED THIS SO IT'S READABLE NOW. please R&R. I'm lonely. P
Ico - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,163 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/20/2006 - Published: 3/12/2006
A Very Unhappy Birthday reviews
It's Gaz's birthday, and she just wants to have pizza with Dib, all he wants to do is catch Zim. What is a girl to do? Mild launguage and doggydeath. Please review!
Invader Zim - Rated: K+ - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,396 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/9/2003 - Gaz, Dib - Complete
Triumph for the Living Fandom! reviews
A lonely goth girl is an outsider, but loves to tell stories. She is also possessed with IZ fandom. Mild launguage. Please review!
Invader Zim - Rated: K+ - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,461 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/9/2003 - Complete
Egg Me Intellegence reviews
Zim and Dib are competing in a battle of wits, but Gaz gets to call the winner.
Invader Zim - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 572 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/8/2003 - Zim, Dib - Complete
Anlace reviews
a very OLD story. written in 2000. Really short srtoy of Invader Zim getting dumped by the Tallests
Invader Zim - Rated: K - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,031 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/8/2003 - Zim, Dib - Complete