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Joined 08-10-12, id: 4189259, Profile Updated: 07-02-14
Author has written 23 stories for My Little Pony, Spiral Knights, King Kong, and Tetris.

"Sanity is madness put to good uses; waking life is a dream controlled."

— George Santayana

"The birth of the reader must be at the cost of the death of the Author."

— Roland Barthes

Age: 24
Location: California, USA
Favored Genre: dramedy
Preferred Pony: Rarity
Degree: AS in Early Childhood Education (I.E I'm a preschool teacher)

Stories run the gamut, but most of my popularity is a result of my comedies. Don't like a given story I wrote? Fret not! There will no doubt be something the exact opposite of it around here before long. Enjoyed one a lot? Fret not! I'll prob'ly repeat myself later! It's a pretty eclectic mix, overall.

The main reason I write fanfiction is to improve myself. If you happen to read something I wrote and want to suggest ways I can improve, I'm always willing to listen.

I don't have time to thank every individual for their favs/watches, but I do read every review and PM. I don't usually respond to reviews since ff has such a fiddly comment system, so don't be afraid to PM me or add me on Steam!

http:///user/cleverpun -- FIMfic gets all my updates first and has some additional one-shots; nothing personal FF, you just have low pony traffic.

http:///id/damnfunny -- don't be afraid to add me on steam or PM me if you want to chat!

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Queen of All Oni by Eduard Kassel reviews
Daolon Wong's summoning spell goes wrong; but rather than awakening an ancient evil, he resurrects a more recent threat. With Queen Jade as their opponent a race for the masks is on. Can the Chans stop Jade's plans and save her from the darkness? NOT JxT!
Jackie Chan Adventures - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 302,460 - Reviews: 779 - Favs: 864 - Follows: 659 - Updated: 12/24/2018 - Published: 4/15/2010 - Jade C., Torhu - Complete
Mass Effect: Interregnum by The Naked Pen reviews
The Battle of the Citadel has been won. Saren Arterius is dead. Commander Shepard is dead. Garrus Vakarian isn't. Alone on Omega among slavers, murderers, mercenaries, insane warlords and the worst of the galaxy's criminals, he does the only thing he can: declares war. The Archangel legend is born, but angels can fall. Nothing's ever easy...
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Crime - Chapters: 55 - Words: 303,425 - Reviews: 384 - Favs: 655 - Follows: 370 - Updated: 3/23/2013 - Published: 2/25/2010 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

If You Came to Conquer reviews
Nightmare Moon won. She defeated Celestia, broke the Elements, banished the sun. This all happened a very long time ago. So long ago, that she has had plenty of time to change her mind. Of course, fixing our mistakes is never so simple, and never without consequences. Even with particularly potent help.
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,012 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/19/2015 - Published: 5/30/2014 - Princess Luna/Nightmare Moon, Discord, Princess Celestia - Complete
Inexcusable reviews
Princess Nightmare Moon had tried to keep it secret. She had feigned ignorance, but the charade could not last. She nocked the arrow. Tirek was a large target; he would fall easily. Then the true challenge would come: explaining herself to Celestia.
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,235 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/19/2015 - Princess Luna/Nightmare Moon, Princess Celestia, Princess Cadance/Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, Discord - Complete
A Geometric Shape in Equestria reviews
A few days ago, a strange, rotating block appeared in Ponyville town square. Twilight hasn't been able to tear herself away from it…
Crossover - My Little Pony & Tetris - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,437 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/19/2015 - Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle - Complete
The Unexpected Sexual Harassment of Twilight Sparkle reviews
At Celestia's behest, Twilight Sparkle arrives in Ponyville to prepare for the Summer Sun Celebration, and potentially the return of Nightmare Moon. Her preparations will be anything but easy. The stallions in charge of the festivities all seem to have taken a "romantic" interest in her, and every one of them is terrible at flirting. Really terrible. Really.
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 16,445 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 1/21/2015 - Published: 7/28/2013 - Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Spike, Rarity - Complete
Elements of Excess reviews
Discord was defeated. Villains always are. It's really such a cliché. Before he lost, he asked himself a question: what if your virtues went out of control, rather than your flaws? Can the main six find a way to undo Discord's magic, in spite of themselves and each other?
My Little Pony - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,689 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 11/27/2014 - Published: 9/15/2012 - Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, Applejack, Rainbow Dash
I Am Not the Actor reviews
She's the original. She won the paint-watching test, fair and square. So why do the townsponies keep avoiding her? Why do all her friends keep whispering around her? And why does Twilight insist that she's bad at baking? She's the original. The best Pinkie. She won the test, fair and square. She's not some copy, not anymore...but perhaps that'd be easier than being herself
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 16 - Words: 23,696 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 7/6/2014 - Published: 2/18/2013 - Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle
The Word Felt Wonderful reviews
Bad days come in many shapes and sizes. Sometimes it is a single piece of crushing news. Other times it is a confrontation with someone you know. Then there are the times where it is nothing in particular, a cascade of little problems or tiny irritations that are greater than the sum of their parts. Rarity is having one such day.
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,362 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/30/2014 - Rarity - Complete
Princest Is Wincest, It Said reviews
The graffiti did not bother her; the art of vandalism was as old as civilization itself. The content, however, was an entirely different issue. "Princest Is Wincest," it said. Bad grammar and spelling were one thing, but this was an attack on language. Luna frowned. She would have to ask Celestia about this. If nothing else, Tia might be able to explain what exactly it meant.
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,706 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 4/10/2014 - Published: 11/8/2013 - Princess Celestia, Princess Luna/Nightmare Moon - Complete
Generic Wish Fulfillment Story 43,127 reviews
You've seen it all; roommates, flatmates, sex buddies, harems, monogamous marriages, combat couples, business partners, patrons, pen pals, and everything and anything in between. First person, second person, third person, webcomic, video game, author avatar and anonymous Mary Sues. Well, what if all of them happened at the same time?
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,011 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/19/2013 - OC, Princess Luna/Nightmare Moon - Complete
Sugarcoated So Poorly reviews
Love is one of the most potent emotions there is. It consumes and elevates even the most mundane activities. With love, a simple kiss becomes extraordinary, and even a bad kiss evokes something. If love is so wonderful, then what could really be so bad about a love poison? After all, isn't a pretty lie better than an ugly truth? Alternate scenario for S2E17 Hearts and Hooves Day
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,002 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/19/2013 - Cheerilee, Big Macintosh, Applejack, Rarity - Complete
Before History Began reviews
Before Harmony blossomed, before Discord erupted, before History began, there were three tribes of ponies. The first lived in the desert, where nothing grew. The second lived in the mountains, where nothing relented. The third lived in the jungle, where nothing surrendered. This is the story of what they began.
My Little Pony - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,162 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/19/2013 - OC - Complete
An Annual Occurance reviews
Equestria's calendar is bloated with holidays and celebrations of all shapes and sizes. Celestia's favorite, however, is always Nightmare Night. There are few things better than surplus candy. Of course, this year her sister is back, but that probably won't cause any major problems.
My Little Pony - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,121 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/4/2013 - Princess Celestia, Princess Luna/Nightmare Moon - Complete
Battery reviews
I don't remember how long I've been in here. I don't remember anything besides this dull room and this glass tube. I don't remember why or who or what put me in. I don't remember why these hoses are stuck in me, or why they shoot liquid into me once a day. I don't really remember anything. If I'm honest, I don't even remember whether I enjoy it or not.
My Little Pony - Rated: M - English - Horror/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,118 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/29/2013 - OC - Complete
Stallion of Her Dreams reviews
[Crack Pairing] [RarityxKingSombra] Rarity always liked the big, strong, regal, silent type. Sometimes we get exactly what we wish for, though not always packaged how we expected. Written for the Crack Ships Inc. June Crack Ship Contest on FIMfic.
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 990 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/18/2013 - Rarity, King Sombra - Complete
Pictures of Lily reviews
After purchasing a pin-up calender for a nature fundraiser, Fluttershy develops a crush on one of its subjects. They're just so subdued, so elegant, and yet still so confident and charismatic... When Twilight "offers" to introduce the two, it seems like a dream come true. After all, this is destiny. What could possibly go wrong?
My Little Pony - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,523 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/2/2013 - Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, Lily
Blitzkrieg Poison Kills Assassins reviews
The ultimate action stallion ninja hero is back. In this critically acknowledged sequel to Blitzkrieg Poison Assassinates Killers, everypony's favorite demolitions expert must confront his old ninjutsu mentor and stop her once and for all. ...And this's poisonal... "Movie of the decade, edge of my seat the entire time. 6/5 stars." —Rainbow D., Ponyville Gazette
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,857 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/22/2013 - Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle - Complete
Twas Beauty Kissed the Beast reviews
[Crack Pairing] [RarityxKingKong] Rarity always liked the big, strong, noble, silent type. Sometimes we get exactly what we wish for, though not always packaged how we expected.
Crossover - My Little Pony & King Kong - Rated: T - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,001 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/22/2013 - Rarity - Complete
Like a Sex Machine reviews
When Rarity wakes up to find she has become a changeling, she is mildly upset, but rapidly realizes that she'll never have to worry about a shortage of sex again... oh, and romance I guess. Mostly sex, though. Like really, a lot of it. Her only problem; who should she seduce first? And in which order shall she shag everypony else?
My Little Pony - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,833 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 4/18/2013 - Published: 9/9/2012 - Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Queen Chrysalis, Princess Luna/Nightmare Moon - Complete
The Crowd
New experiences are scary. But every experience was new to somebody at some point. In the Lockdown locker room a newbie gets a quick peptalk from her teammate.
Spiral Knights - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,429 - Published: 3/1/2013 - Complete
A Fishy Story reviews
So, y'all want a story, do ya? Well, I got one for ya; it involves fishing, jewelry, and a poorly-planned promise. Starrin' yours truly, ta boot! Not many ponies have heard it, neither, so you three should feel lucky! A tall tale? Don't be ridiculous, sugarcube! Would I ever lie ta you?
My Little Pony - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,257 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/23/2013 - Applejack, Rarity - Complete
Think Pink! or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying reviews
Twilight is practicing her latest spell; one that let's her read the minds of other ponies! She asks Pinkie to help, since nothing could possibly go wrong. I mean, it's not like Twilight could mess up the spell, causing Pinkie's mental patterns to infect Twilight's mind; that would just be silly! And even if they did, Pinkie would help her friend reverse the effects. Wouldn't she?
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,867 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 10/2/2012 - Published: 8/12/2012 - Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie - Complete
Can You Keep a Secret? reviews
Pinkie has a horrible secret; she's a changeling. She has been for a while. But she can't bring herself to tell anyone, except a cheap journal. It's better if nopony knows, after all, and her lies aren't hurting anyone. Not hurting anyone at all...
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,008 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 9/12/2012 - Published: 9/10/2012 - Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle
Loyalty and Royalty Part I I Put a Spell On You reviews
After being rejected for the 8th time by the Wonderbolts, Rainbow begins to question her abilities. When a unicorn offers to cast a spell to make her better, Rainbow is skeptical, but intrigued... and oblivious to the poisonous plan behind it. Will Rainbow be able to escape this wretched web? And if she can't, will her friends be able to save her in time? Cancelled
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,197 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 9/8/2012 - Published: 9/4/2012 - Rainbow Dash, Queen Chrysalis