fangbanger06
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Joined 09-26-09, id: 2095925, Profile Updated: 10-22-10

I'm retired now. Got my AARP card and everything.

Thanks for being cool, fic community.

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GYNAZOLE by Mrs.TheKing reviews
Bella has to fill an embarrassing prescription. Mr. Cullen is the pharmacist there to greet her. Rated M for every reason my twisted mind can come up with. ExB God help us if there is a lemon.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,442 - Reviews: 10386 - Favs: 2,833 - Follows: 2,369 - Updated: 2/27/2015 - Published: 1/20/2010 - Bella, Edward
We Were Here by lola-pops reviews
Upon waking, there's a brief, blissful period in which you don't yet recall the sins of the night before, but eventually, you have to open your eyes. I'm Bella Swan, seventeen years old, cheerleader. This morning I woke up in the wrong bed.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 24 - Words: 105,737 - Reviews: 8366 - Favs: 8,546 - Follows: 7,898 - Updated: 2/13/2015 - Published: 12/17/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Plan - OUTTAKES by QuantumFizzx reviews
REMOVED. Thank you for your readership. Kept a few chapters up to explain why & share outtakes alter. Obsessed but unnoticed for over a year, she puts a plan in motion to catch the eye of the corner-office. That's her plan. Fate has another plan entirely
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,687 - Reviews: 19584 - Favs: 6,433 - Follows: 4,407 - Updated: 3/9/2014 - Published: 12/12/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Expectations and Other Moving Pieces by chrometurtle reviews
Everything I had done in my life seemed to lead up to this moment. The moment when I found myself bound inextricably to a man I didn’t love, trapped in a life I didn’t want. And if I left him, I would be entirely alone.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 227,237 - Reviews: 15189 - Favs: 8,993 - Follows: 9,249 - Updated: 11/11/2013 - Published: 10/13/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Fallout by OCDindeed reviews
March 16/06 the world the Cullens knew ended. Faith, hope & love are powerful things. Edward finds out how powerful they are when he loses the one person who made his life worth living. Not just an E/B story. Entire Cullen clan is here, each with their own hardships. Set during a post-apocalyptic nuclear war. Try the Prologue before passing judgment. You might be surprised! NM/AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 325,178 - Reviews: 6747 - Favs: 4,729 - Follows: 3,297 - Updated: 3/24/2012 - Published: 3/24/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
College Ruled by Havalina reviews
He spends his days in college filling up spiral notebooks with meticulous notes, feeling listless and uninspired, until he recognizes himself in the mirror image of someone impressively bold. AH/SLASH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,749 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 1/19/2012 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Edward, Riley
Tie Me Here in Time by jadedandboring reviews
What do you do after your world changes, after you're no longer part of the relationship that practically defined your entire life? Who do you turn to when everyone around you has changed but swears you are the one who is different? Sequel to KRM.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 76,684 - Reviews: 1002 - Favs: 284 - Follows: 262 - Updated: 6/8/2011 - Published: 1/7/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Kool Things by Snow White's Poison Apple reviews
Story is set after #4 of the Sookie books. Sookie & Eric had relations during Eric's stint of amnesia. What happens when Eric's memory is recovered? Thanks to Charlaine Harris, Alan Ball, and later Stephanie Meyer for their characters. Sookie POV
Crossover - Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries & True Blood - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,643 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 2/10/2011 - Published: 9/12/2010 - Sookie, Eric N.
15 Step by Jenny Jerkface reviews
17-year old Bella Swan moves to Forks after being abandoned by her mother. With music as her only friend and a penchant for trouble, Bella just wants to be left alone. Unfortunately, her behavior attracts the attention of hot tempered Edward Cullen.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 16 - Words: 77,617 - Reviews: 778 - Favs: 1,186 - Follows: 1,331 - Updated: 1/4/2011 - Published: 10/5/2009 - Bella, Edward
Irritable Grizzly Adams by caligula42 reviews
New Moon AU. Edward did more than just leave Bella in the woods five years ago. Time goes on as Bella struggles to make a new life without him. What happens when they are accidentally reunited? What was the real lie that Edward told? What will Bella do?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 121,710 - Reviews: 5112 - Favs: 3,763 - Follows: 3,295 - Updated: 12/27/2010 - Published: 9/16/2008 - Bella, Edward
Goodnight, Noises Everywhere by Feisty Y. Beden reviews
Bella is the only survivor of a virus which has killed off the human race. Is there anyone-anything-still alive on this dying planet? Entry for the Twilight 25 Challenge. Post-apocalyptic good times. Bella/Edward
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 25 - Words: 63,043 - Reviews: 3035 - Favs: 2,376 - Follows: 1,257 - Updated: 8/9/2010 - Published: 1/8/2010 - Complete
Bare by stella luna sky reviews
Winner of two Summer 2009 Indies. A beautifully plain girl writes the colors used to unravel a young prodigy of the brushstroke. What color are the eyes that see through the heart? Forest green and their rooted brown. AH/M. COMPLETE.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 28 - Words: 95,675 - Reviews: 5731 - Favs: 6,805 - Follows: 3,805 - Updated: 8/4/2010 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Summer of Salt by lola-pops reviews
The heat wave lingers. Sweet, savory and slick. Jasper, Rose and I wade through the humid days, content in our relative isolation. We spend June through August at our family lake property, and this summer is like any other. Until it's not.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 26 - Words: 88,646 - Reviews: 4687 - Favs: 6,063 - Follows: 2,222 - Updated: 7/5/2010 - Published: 12/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Incision by stothep reviews
Bella's cruelest cut leaves Jake forever altered. Will Leah be the one to help him recover?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 920 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/16/2010 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
Unchanged by stothep reviews
What if . . . we all just pretend I didn't really write this, mmmkay?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,516 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 7 - Published: 4/9/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
So Be It by SophiaAnne reviews
Happy Harry is here again, live and streaming right into where you live. Are you ready for me?” Will Bella Swan find out who's behind the sexy voice that has her all hot and bothered? BxE - AU/AH, OOC, Lemons and Language. Now revised and expanded.
Crossover - Pump Up The Volume & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 21,484 - Reviews: 551 - Favs: 1,007 - Follows: 433 - Updated: 3/3/2010 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Bella - Complete
The Devil in the Dark by Luvvycat reviews
Jack decides to put a popular theory to the test. Little does Elizabeth know what is waiting for her, in the dark... Just a little Sparrabeth Valentine's Day smut, part of my "Rum and Persuasion" story cycle. Rated "M" for a very good reason! ;-D
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,215 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 23 - Published: 2/15/2010 - Elizabeth S., Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
Little Grocery Store of Horrors by tuesdaymidnight reviews
Edward is spending his first winter break home from college working at the only grocery store in Forks. Can he keep his big mouth from getting him in trouble? "FML Contest" entry. AU/AH/OOC. Rated M for language.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,079 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/15/2010 - Edward - Complete
Cowboys Have Fangs, Too by Pastiche Pen reviews
When you’re a Cullen, you’re supposed to be a nice vampire. You’re not supposed to want to kill librarians—or drink the drill team—or have a map of scars. And you're certainly not supposed to want to exsanguinate Edward's human. Aw, hell. Canon.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 21,966 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 311 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 2/7/2010 - Published: 1/31/2010 - Jasper - Complete
To Have and to Hold by GoingVintage reviews
A baby she hadn't planned on. A husband she didn't even know. A life that neither of them wanted or expected. Can they do it at all, let alone together? Complete AU... Puck/Rachel as adults. NOW COMPLETE.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 26 - Words: 76,306 - Reviews: 852 - Favs: 623 - Follows: 272 - Updated: 2/5/2010 - Published: 1/4/2010 - Puck, Rachel B. - Complete
The Wizard of Forks by Feisty Y. Beden reviews
Support Stacie crackfic. Your favorite Twilight characters take a cracktacular journey from Kansas to the mythical land of Forks. Rated M for language, Roman Polanski jokes, and excessive urination. AH-ish, OOC. Very OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,082 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/15/2009 - Complete
Modern Medusa by Feisty Y. Beden reviews
Do you know what it’s like to be adored by everyone you meet? Do you know what it’s like to get anything you want, whenever you want? To make people do anything you want them to do and make it think it’s their own idea? I do." Les Femmes Noires entry. AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,757 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/13/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Wings by In.a.blue.bathrobe reviews
For Elle.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,183 - Reviews: 507 - Favs: 601 - Follows: 108 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Complete
Camping is in Tents! by Chimaera2009 reviews
Renesmee, Jacob, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie go on a camping trip and get caught in a snow storm. This story is rated M for VERY mature or immature, depending on your point-of-view, language and some serious lemonade.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,311 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 9/26/2009 - Published: 5/20/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob - Complete
If Love Could Light a Candle by Pastiche Pen reviews
Edward Cullen: telepath, vampire, and psychologist. When a new patient ignites unfamiliar feelings in his soul, can he reconcile his past with his future? A la Midnight Sun. Warnings: Violence, lots of character death, and the usual. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 13 - Words: 112,620 - Reviews: 2916 - Favs: 3,414 - Follows: 1,639 - Updated: 9/25/2009 - Published: 4/26/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Do You Remember? by LJ Summers reviews
A winner in the Sort of Beautiful Challenge, this is a story about unconditional love and the value of memory. Jacob and Bella have been married for about forty years when the Cullens want to visit for what is possibly the last time. One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,420 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 298 - Follows: 41 - Published: 9/2/2009 - [Bella, Jacob] - Complete
Get Me to You by Chicklette reviews
Winner of Winter 2010 Indie! Pet names and Pop Tarts. Sunday mornings with Etta and Ella. Cibola. Candymouth. You finally realize the truth. What if it's too late? M for drinking, drug use, sex and effing language. ExBxJxAxEm/POV, AH, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 36,522 - Reviews: 954 - Favs: 1,481 - Follows: 341 - Updated: 8/19/2009 - Published: 7/27/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
The Twilight of Profundity by Mister Buch reviews
A one-shot parody. One day early in her relationship with Edward, Bella suddenly grasps a deep and intelligent concept, which has massive implications to the world and to their relationship. - Don't worry, I actually think the book is okay.-
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,069 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Published: 8/12/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Tanqueray & Tonic and Other Assorted Cocktales by wtvoc reviews
side notes from Scotch, Gin, and the New Girl by jandco and withthevampsofcourse. outtakes, if you will. starting with emmett. rated M for well... sexytimes.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 25,062 - Reviews: 510 - Favs: 442 - Follows: 345 - Updated: 7/31/2009 - Published: 11/6/2008
Scotch, Gin, and the New Girl by wtvoc reviews
Les Liaisons Dangereuses, je crois. We were Cruel Intentions. We are Gossip Girls. We do not care. At all." all-human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 115,359 - Reviews: 3919 - Favs: 4,259 - Follows: 1,887 - Updated: 7/31/2009 - Published: 9/27/2008 - Complete
Rum and Persuasion by Luvvycat reviews
Former title: CURIOSITY. When a drunken Jack Sparrow appears on her terrace in Port Royal in the middle of the night, it is up to Elizabeth Swann to keep him safe until he can return to the Black Pearl. How can they fill the hours until daylight? Rated M
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 32,642 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 291 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 8/11/2008 - Published: 7/19/2008 - Elizabeth S., Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
The Truth About Heaven by Mezzanottex3 reviews
I came down here to tell you... it rains in Heaven all day long. I want to find you so bad... and let you know I'm miserable up here without you. ::Edward/Bella:: ::oneshot::
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,792 - Reviews: 264 - Favs: 435 - Follows: 100 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete