Maria Patenaude
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Joined 08-17-09, id: 2051436, Profile Updated: 04-06-10
Author has written 7 stories for Kingdom Hospital/Riget, Doctor Who, Dark Tower and Other Stories, and Torchwood.

I've been writing for most of my life, but writing seriously since I was 14 years old (1994, for the curious). I would write poems on any scrap of paper I happened to have with me at the time, including receipts, napkins, and (most of all) my Math notebook (which never seemed to be useful for much else, lol).

I generally write novels (Fiction, Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Romance, and a crazy mixture of all of these genres), but don't want to put them out in the open yet since I plan on publishing them. I post some of my short stories on FictionPress, though, as well as my forays into fan fiction here, so you will definitely have the opportunity to gape at my work and remark "WTF?" Just kidding. It's quite possible that I'm the only one that thinks I'm weird. That's what I want you to tell me. Can you relate to my work? Have you been through the same things? How weird am I really? ;)

I'm currently breaking my own rules by posting Either Side of the TV Light, an original novella, over on FP, so reviews on that would be more awesome than words can say.

I have a degree in Music and Education, but I'm currently not pursuing the "education" part of that career. I live in Massachusetts and hope to travel at some point. Up until recently I was a hermit in a small town in Puerto Rico, so this is a drastic change for me!

I'm a total tech head, a bit of a gamer chick, a bit of a Goth, a bit bohemian, and I have a quirky memory for the Random and Obscure.

I'm weird. I don't fit in a box and can't be labeled... and I like it that way. The nerd, the rocker, the clown, the hopeless romantic, the cynic... Don't try to pin me down as just one. I'm all of these some of the time and none of them all of the time. Stick around. You'll see. ;)

Side note: I'm bilingual. If anyone ever needs help with Spanish for their writing, feel free to message me.

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Breaking News by WriteOnTime reviews
Two network news anchors. One desk. In a race to get the story, love might become the headline - if they don't kill each other first. AH Canon Couples, smart people, particle physics, and tap dancing.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 182,215 - Reviews: 7388 - Favs: 6,326 - Follows: 4,332 - Updated: 1/3/2012 - Published: 10/5/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Port Angeles Players by WriteOnTime reviews
New in the town of Forks and eager to please her boss at the university, Bella auditions for a local production of Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing". Her co-star is a handsome but confusing local doctor. Curtains-up on love. AH canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 170,459 - Reviews: 4649 - Favs: 4,278 - Follows: 1,703 - Updated: 8/29/2010 - Published: 3/11/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
In the Days of Auld Lang Syne: Fix You by Feisty Y. Beden reviews
Reeling from traumatic events in high school, Alice hid away a part of her soul. Can Jasper help her find it again, when she didn't know she was looking? Story is rated M for language. A/J, AH, OOC. Part of larger series *In the Days of Auld Lang Syne*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 28 - Words: 110,346 - Reviews: 653 - Favs: 232 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 5/14/2010 - Published: 2/24/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Bad Habit: Book One by AmeryMarie reviews
Bella has a bad habit. She's been secretly involved, and secretly in love, w/her friends brother for yrs. Will she ever admit her love or will misunderstandings, interfering friends & betrayal help her kick the habit? AH/OOC, MATURE
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 235,518 - Reviews: 1516 - Favs: 1,829 - Follows: 1,202 - Updated: 4/12/2010 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Well, This Sucks: Life According to Seth by Krum Cake reviews
Peek into the intimate pages of Seth Clearwater's man-journal as he complains about life, love, and teenage shape-shifter angst. Post BD, canon-compliant, rating for language and sex humor...because Seth is a teenage boy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 53,039 - Reviews: 1130 - Favs: 936 - Follows: 811 - Updated: 12/4/2009 - Published: 9/1/2008 - Seth
The Twilight 25 Challenge by Feisty Y. Beden reviews
Welcome to The Twilight Twenty-Five, a community that challenges you to churn out, well, twenty-five one-shots &/or drabbles based on predetermined prompts within a three month period.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 25 - Words: 46,480 - Reviews: 297 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 11/30/2009 - Published: 9/6/2009 - Complete
Waters come down by smaragdbird reviews
‘You do realize that hell is about to break loose in there because people seem to be incapable of tying their shoelaces without asking you about your input first?’ Derek asked John, who stood in the rain with his arms outstretched. Incest Derek/John
Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,030 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/29/2009 - Derek R., John C. - Complete
Modern Medusa by Feisty Y. Beden reviews
Do you know what it’s like to be adored by everyone you meet? Do you know what it’s like to get anything you want, whenever you want? To make people do anything you want them to do and make it think it’s their own idea? I do." Les Femmes Noires entry. AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,757 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 9 - Published: 11/13/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
The Valediction by HumanShield reviews
Entry for LES FEMMES NOIRES ONE-SHOT CONTEST. Post-Breaking Dawn. EPOV. The consequences of forever.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,948 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 24 - Published: 10/6/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
You've Kept Me Waiting by Mandi1 reviews
Seeing the future is one thing. Knowing how to get there is another. Alice knows that Jasper is the key to something better. If only she can get - and keep - him in her life. Alice and Jasper's story. Reposted by request.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 139,102 - Reviews: 1410 - Favs: 1,789 - Follows: 577 - Updated: 9/18/2009 - Published: 5/17/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
El Circo de Cullen by hugthystratosphere reviews
An anonymous, collaborative effort from some of your favorite ff author's! Completely obnoxious, guaranteed to offend, horribly taboo, nothing is left untouched! WE TAKE NO PRISONERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! OOC/M fo'sure /CANNON..unless the mood strikes
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,759 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 52 - Published: 4/12/2009 - Bella, Edward
Cœur de Loupe by Lady Jaida reviews
For James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, both history and the future were far from kind. This is a dark love story of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, a tale of Voldemort's rise and fall, a novel of the four who were forgotten.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 238,211 - Reviews: 463 - Favs: 386 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 7/24/2003 - Published: 3/22/2002 - Remus L., Sirius B.
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Torchwood: Darkness Falls reviews
At Torchwood, nothing is ever quite what it seems. The Darkness is coming... but without it, who of us would ever truly appreciate the Light? Part 5 of 5.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,982 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/26/2009 - 10th Doctor, Ianto J. - Complete
Torchwood: Roses and Thorns reviews
At Torchwood, friends are the family we choose for ourselves. When friends' and relatives' lives are at stake, though, sometimes blood has a stronger pull than you expect... or even want. Part 4 of 5.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,281 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/25/2009 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Torchwood: City of Ruin reviews
The dust settles... the wind picks up. There's no such thing as a quiet night at Torchwood, where even the secrets have secrets... Part 3 of 5.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,039 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/24/2009 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Torchwood: Devastation Day reviews
After rift storms tear up Cardiff, Team Torchwood suffers some grave losses. In their attempt to pick up the pieces, they find more than they had ever suspected was possible. And yet, still less than they desire. Part 2 of 5.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,951 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/23/2009 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Torchwood: A Touch of Torchwood reviews
Cardiff, Wales, is home to many strange things, not the least of which is a secret organization known as Torchwood. Some secrets run deeper than others. This is one of Jack's... one that fell between the cracks and was never told. Part 1 of 5.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,314 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/22/2009 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Physician Heal Thyself: Part 2 The Path's End reviews
Mariella awakens in the Territories to find herself faced with her past: Jack Sawyer. When she meets Paul Morlock's Twinner, she is faced yet again with the choice between the Tower and her only love. Sequel to Opopanax Road.
Crossover - Kingdom Hospital/Riget & Dark Tower and Other Stories - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,836 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8/19/2009
Physician Heal Thyself: Part 1 Opopanax Road reviews
Nothing's okay in the Kingdom. When Paul Morlock's mysterious friend Mariella is assigned to recruit Mona Klingerman for her new role as a Breaker, the Living Dead Boy comes one step closer to pulling down the Tower... or does he? -Written August 2004
Crossover - Kingdom Hospital/Riget & Dark Tower and Other Stories - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,061 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/19/2009 - Complete