Author has written 14 stories for Legend of Zelda, Fallout, Red Dead Redemption, Pokémon, Okami, How to Train Your Dragon, and Elder Scroll series.
*Dearest Critics United:
Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Very truly yours, SeeThatGuy
I think that we should use leaves as currency and just make their values based on color. Green leaves will be 1 dollar, yellow 5, red 20, brown 10, and orange 100. This way, money can indeed grow on trees.
Name: Chuck Finley
Phone Number: 666
Address: Cabin #666, Hot Ave, The Sun, Solar System, 00000
Seethatguy was born before the formation of space and time. For billions of unyears he floated in nothingness with God, wondering when they'd get plasma screen TV's. Unfortunately, God said that TV wouldn't come around until about 14 billion years after the formation of time, so they had to wait awhile. Eventually, boredom got the best of both of them, and God said "Hey, I've got some fireworks. Let's light a few off."
They lit off the fireworks, and one was so powerful that the explosion expanded rapidly from about the size of an atom to the size of a football stadium, and then it got larger. The Universe came to be.
While God went on to do his own thing (making galaxies and stars, planets and planetoids), Seethatguy made the destructive things (Black Holes and the law that big stars have to explode and make a big deal out of dying). Seethatguy spent the next several billion years watching stars go boom, and every so often he'd go hang out with the devil or sometimes the black holes. Black holes don't harm Seethatguy because they're buddies. Legend states that black holes are born of Seethatguy's heart-- also a black hole.
Eventually, God decided to make life. He said "Let this be awesome". And it was awesome. Seethatguy asked nicely to go to Earth, and God agreed. However, Satan started getting bitchy and whiny, so he went to Hell. Seethatguy currently resides in a cabin on the sun and plays poker with Satan every wednesday night.
The real About Me:
I consider myself a bumbler in the sense that there's not a whole ton I do well, and there was a time that self doubt ate away at me and my self worth was in the toilet. I often hid behind bad humor and to be fair, I still use a lot of bad humor, and one day I came to a site called Fanfiction. This one, if you're not following along.
At that time in my life I was in a lot lot lot of pain and was very, very self conscious. Coincidentally, it was also the time I revamped my writing style to something more accepted and contemporary, and the first story to serve that style was a long scrapped idea whose name I can barely recall. I replaced it with Sacred Hearts and Fallen Angels, and expected zero reviews, favorites, response... but that was not what I got. I got praise and acceptance, and love for what I considered my crap quality writing. In a sense, it was the readers that showed me one of my strengths, and that was by supporting me in a time that I needed it the most, so to the readers of my first real story on this account and to those of you who read my work today, thank you. Though many of you have moved on by now, I still remember you and remember writing that story, and I suspect I will for the rest of my time.
As for me now, I do still write here of course, and in addition have begun a series that, when I finish the first season, I hope to pitch. And now I'm feeling really awkward writing this and am more than likely to hate it when I wake up, so I'm going to stop writing this segment now.
If you're here about a review I gave your story, please leave your formal complaint in a private message. That'll teach me.
I rate your story on a -/10 scale, and it's actually very easy to get a good review from me. Just use proper spelling, grammar, and give me a plot that doesn't, say, use hit points. Congrats. 10/10.
Bottom line: Stop complaining to me about my reviews, unless you think I made a mistake, in which case you can maturely point it out and I'll eat my words. If you can't handle criticism, don't write.
Cord (KIA) (See above rant before bitching )
Sue Denim (Alive)
Vardaman Finch (TBA/Under Consideration)
The Keaton (TBA)
Strange Man (N/A)
Rick Miller (Alive)
Milly (KIA) (Above rant)
Dimitri Petrov (KIA)
Nikolai Rascalov (KIA)
"Dead" Larry Sizemore (KIA)
Jack Stein (KIA)*
Sly Stevens/FNG (Alive)
Sam Stone (DWRIA)
Mia Tuk (Alive)
Sergei Yoblonovich (Unknown/Likely KIA)
KIA (Killed in Action)
DWRIA (Died of Wounds received in Action)
Alive (If I have to explain it to you, you're an idiot.
TBA (To Be Announced)- This character is not yet seen.
N/A- The Strange Man has no status.
*=Is seen in a Christmas one-shot.
YES! If I can keep writing up at that pace...
(WARNING: THAR BE SPOILERS BELOW!)
Sacred Hearts And Fallen Angels (COMPLETE)
Final Thoughts: SHFA was an example of a story that feels good up until you read it. It was when I was still new to this method of writing (I'd been coming off the script-writing method, which wasn't even a correct script-writing method, so fuck). Jack was annoying in early chapters to me. So was Navi... but it's strange: I loved writing the earlier chapters, especially taking into account the concept of the Rebirth (the very same thing I used in multiple stories): I essentially tried to expand upon iwritewhenimbored's fic (and as far as I know, he/she never finished it. It was the idea of the story that I adored), and it turned into the Ocarina of Time retelling once I ran out of new space to wander in.
It was an Ocarina of Time story, which was enjoyable to write, but recent attempts at reading it (I'm planning a Majora's Mask story with the same Link) have often led me to roll my eyes at the mediocre at best writing. While I adore the praise that I got for this fic, I constantly wonder if it is misplaced, for this was certainly not my best work, or even a good work, as far as I am concerned.
Guardian Angels (COMPLETE)
Final Thoughts: Guardian Angels felt like a more organized story than SHFA, but the attention garnered by it was very low (only three reviewers, and I think four favorites). I don't like to rely on reviews, and it pains me to say it, but I felt almost accustomed to reviews like I got in SHFA. I won't ask for reviews on this story, or any other, but it does help to know that someone cares about what you're doing other than yourself.
I liked using Canis to narrate very much, but I disliked the character. If an OC is a tool, then Canis was a faulty wrench. He's too much of a downer all the time, so while the story itself felt stronger than SHFA, the narrator was not.
A Song For You (COMPLETE)
Final Thoughts: I honestly didn't mind too much of how this came out, cheesy though it was. It was certainly a relief to complete this shorty, because I didn't have any other ideas of what to write for it until a chapter or two before actually writing it. It was still part of SHFA and it felt... wrong, but then... I call all my stories mediocre at best (because they are).
We Shall Be Together In Paradise (DEFUNCT)
Final Thoughts: This story came to me in a dream, and for a while I passionately worked on it, hoping maybe to squeeze in the entire story before I got up the next chapter to SHFA (which I was growing bored writing). It got 6 reviews, all favorable, but in reality... this story can be found in any part of the Wolf's Rain forum. If I ever made a mistake, it was Veck Miller. His last name found its way into What Price Glory, of course, but that's because I wasn't exactly feeling creative.
Bottom line: It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Beneath This Gruff Exterior (COMPLETE)
Final Thoughts: This story... writing it was wonderfully fascinating. I'd seen a few pictures of people turning into deathclaws on deviantart, and I've got kind of a thing for Sherry, so... I posted the first few chapters I believe as a way of poking at the tree to see what falls out. The positive reaction only encouraged me, and this quickly became the fic that got the most praise, the most work, and the most recognition. Cord was great fun to write from, but... I think he worked a little too well, because Manifest Destiny killed my readership, cost me a few fans, and even got me hate mail.
I never thought I'd get so much heat for throwing away a useless drill.
Manifest Destiny (COMPLETE)
Final Thoughts: I had this story planned out more or less from about halfway into Gruff Exterior. I'd psyched myself up to write it so much that I rushed the break I took between this and Guardian Angels, and just went into it. From the beginning, there was trouble. I had very little interest in the story up until I got rid of Cord, which I had to re-do a few times.
Up until that point, by the way, the story was garnering positive reaction, and on a scale not too far off from its predecessor, I think. After I killed Cord, though... readers just left. If I look at my traffic, all is well and good at first. MD is getting 500-1500 views per few weeks. Denial-- the chapter most reviewed, led to a sharp decline in readers and reviews. I saw a 50% loss on unique readers, and it went downhill from there, save for one or two jumps. By the end, it felt like only two people were reading this story, which made me feel like this entire thing was a wasted year.
The point is, this was a very bad tactic on my part: I should've never promised this story, and I should've just expanded Gruff Exterior a few chapters to lead up to Cord's death. It would've saved me a whole lot of grief. This bombshell makes me feel almost washed-up. Granted, this is only fanfiction, but... I use it as a place to practice writing, my comprehension, and my tactics. I take all three VERY seriously.
I learned not to kill off a loved personality mid-way through a story. Either wait for the end, or don't even do it.
The Angels Rejoiced Last Night (COMPLETE)
Final Thoughts: This was a story that I enjoyed writing, by which I mean I never faltered in it. I never got lazy and stopped updating this thing until it was done, and the reviewers I got gave me criticism when I was wrong, and praise when I was right. However, a few things bother me about this story:
Sly Stevens. I could say that, in a satire on trendy self inserts, I used a character with a unique name to be a smartass, but in reality I was under the influence of Nyquil and long hours without sleep when I named him. This character is annoying. I would've loved to kill him off, but to do so would take away from the point of the story: It's a smartass take on happily ever after self-inserts in the Pokémon universe.
The other thing that bothers me is this: People took this story seriously. I mean, they thought that I was writing this to be a real story. No. If I could read you this story through the computer, I'd do so with a sarcastic tone all throughout. This was more of a game to me than anything, though even so... I AM an obsessive SOB, so I wanted it to at least go over on my terms.
One more thing: I'm still not quite sure how I missed the Espeon and Umbreon fiasco. I didn't notice until I re-read the story for trivia.
What Price Glory (COMPLETE)
Final Thoughts: It came out more or less as I'd been hoping it would, but it garnered so little in the way of reviews. It got 8 favorites and 12 follows by the time of its conclusion.
I'm still hoping (as of the first of June, 2014) to see some action in the polls here. Manifest Destiny was a bombshell in terms of quality to me, but at least it got voters. I'm hoping I get some voters here. I like hearing what people think of these stories.
Interestingly, I got two more reviews here upon conclusion, though I've only got one voter for the polls, which have since closed.
This story wasn't boring for me to write, at least. I didn't have to force myself, and having given up on aiming for exceptionally long chapters, I find it easier to keep moving. I used to like to put as many words to a chapter as I could, but lately, I've just been putting enough to get the point across. That's not to say I won't do long chapters anymore. They probably won't be happening on the same scale as in SHFA, is all.
(6/17/14)- I've since started the Prologue to It Happened One Night, the sequel to The Angels Rejoiced Last Night. Rather than post it in a completely new thread, I'm thinking of just changing ARLN to "In-Progress" and adding the new story onto it. It'll save a lot of confusion.
Final Thoughts: It's been quite a bit since I finished this story, and to be frank, I don't really like it. The idea seemed good for a while, but after a bit it seemed to be more an inside joke type story than anything else. Or a crossover. Sly remains the main character and I explored his character a bit more, which was interesting at the time but, at least to me, seemed to turn him into this arrogant holier than thou type character. I don't know, just the way he words some of his stuff. I enjoyed the last chapter myself, but all in all this wasn't a particularly good performance. I still did get a few lessons from my readers and my experiences writing it however, and that to me makes it a victory.
SPOILERS BE GONE, MATEY. B'low is clear!
This would be written in the structure of a series of one-shots with connections to each other exploring Bianca of Pokémon Heroes life from her birth to her first pregnancy. Additionally, feel free to leave chapter ideas in reviews or private messaging and I will keep them under consideration.
Project: Poncle (Under consideration)
This would be an Okami fic. It would still likely be shorter than Caged, but I'm not sure which would take priority. I only have this idea under consideration at the moment, meaning there's a chance I'll scrap it entirely, but if I go through with it, it'll probably be similar to how I went through Sacred Hearts and Fallen Angels.
Project: Shiranui (Under Consideration)
A prequel to Project Poncle. Can't predict what the length could be on this one.
Dust to Dust
The stories of the Last Dragonborn, Mia Tuk.
T'was but one of the tales told by our clan. We Keaton have many tails.
Dust to Dust
Project: Poncle (Under Consideration)
Project: Shiranui (Under Consideration)
Now, only stories I am interested in writing take priority to avoid stressors, though I'd still like to hear who wants what first.
If anyone actually cares about my avatar, don't. Please. Don't. It's just a bunch of stuff that spews from my mouth from time to time (I kept it as G-Rated as possible). I don't know why I made it; I guess I made it for my own amusement.
I did not like "Billy Madison".
I thought I'd share these three risqué jokes:
A guy is telling his buddy about how he went to take some flying lessons. He got on the plane and his pilot takes them up into the air, at which point the pilot makes it known that he is really an 8th degree blackbelt and a homosexual and that if the guy doesn't approve of his sexual advances, he'd have to jump out of the plane. So the guy's friend asks "So, did you jump?" And the guy replied "Yeah. A little, at first."
Two buddies are going hunting and as they get to the grounds, one guy looks through his scope and says to the other "I see your house from here, your wife is cheating on you with some other fellow!" The other guy says "I've had it with her! Shoot her in the head, and shoot him in his privates." His friend says "I think I can do that in one shot!"
The French Government received a coded message from the Bush administration a few years ago.
It read "S370H55V-0773H".
The French weren't able to read the coded message, so they sent it to Italy. The Italians couldn't crack it, either, so it went to the Russians. Not even the Russians were able to crack the code, so it went to the Germans. The Germans, having received the same message during WWII from the Americans, suggested turning it upside down...