Author has written 2 stories for Marathon, and Doom.
Welcome to SNARFETTE'S FanFiction.net account!
Snarfette is a, with over three hundred years of experience in the activity that Terrans know as "writing fanfics". "She" came to Earth around 2250, and immediately fell in love with the local culture of fanfics. It is estimated "she" has written over 17,000 fics, just in the last month!
"Her" writing philosophy is complex, and includes:
Quantity over quality;
Some praise that Snarfette has received, at least the ones that aren't the instantaneous, violent death of the person or people reading the fic themselves (something "she" regards as a strange compliment from the strange Earth culture):
Most famous is this resounding endorsement by the former Pope, shortly before quitting and turning into the world's foremost atheist:
In this account, we'll be presenting what have been focus-tested as the best Snarfette fanfics ever written, or at least, the only ones that our focus test group survived.
All fanfics are presented "as such", whereas everything technically mistaken is entirely intentional from the author, and part of her exotic charm!
THE RATING SCHEME
All of Snarfette's writings are categorized according to the average reaction of their readers, on a scale of ten.
Their meaning is as follows:
1/10 Discomfort, annoyance
2/10 Minor bouts of nausea in certain parts
3/10 Miscellaneous pains, severe nausea
4/10 Projectile vomit potential, severe pain
5/10 CATEGORIZED AS TORTURE: severe need for brain bleach, massive projectile vomiting, crushing pain and despair
6/10 CATEGORIZED AS HAZARDOUS MATERIAL: minor but irreversible body damage, typically reversible brain damage, rare instances of death
7/10 CATEGORIZED AS IMPROPER WEAPON: severe, irreversible body damage with a >50% chance of death; irreversible brain damage characterized by incoherent babbling intercut by screams of sheer agony. Rare moments of lucidity in which subjects beg for death
8/10 CATEGORIZED AS PROPER WEAPON: near-instant shutdown of major bodily functions, certainty of death, moderate chance of it being instant. Massive psychological damage on survival makes the instantly dead the lucky ones.
9/10 CATEGORIZED AS ANTIMATTER: instant thermonuclear-scale explosion of every cell in organism, with eradication of everything within 5-kilometer radius.
10/10 CATEGORIZED AS HELL: every single molecule of the body infinitely torn apart, an infinite pain to which there is no respite, not even death.
NOTICE: ALL fics rated 6/10 and above are severely restricted, and may not be distributed in any form!
That's it! "Enjoy"... and remember to come visit us at
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