You May Call Me Goddess - Bitch Goddess
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Joined 09-30-02, id: 275263, Profile Updated: 06-19-15
Author has written 1 story for Covenant.

Hello beloved readers! I am Bitch Goddess, but don't worry, I'm actually very nice. I've been on this site for a long ass time - which means I can't remember how long - but thank God most of my earlier work has been deleted and relegated to a hidden folder on my computer. No one should ever be subjected to that horrid stuff again. I've been writing since I was about 12 or 13, and those are also stories that will stay locked away forever. My imagination and inspiration is usually more than I can handle and EXTREMELY A.D.D., it is very unlikely that I write much more than 1-5 chapters for a story at a time before inspiration for something else pops up and everything else is abandoned for months on end. Therefore, I apologize for the erratic nature of my updates. I have also become a Beta Reader for this site so feel free to ask for my assistance, I'll be happy to help.


PS Feel free to skip over all of this mindless crap I have filling up my profile; it is all the product of periodic boredom.

Writing updates: I have deleted my Star Trek and Boondock Saints stories to do some revamping on parts of them, they will be posted again soon. My Covenant story is also in the process of being revamped. I apologize to all of my readers who have been waiting patiently for me to update any of these three stories, I have been struggling heavily with writers block for many months but am finally starting to get some inspiration back. Thank you to all who have stuck with me all these years. 6/8/12


Age: 25

Current Obsessions: Hannibal. Having finally caught up to season 3 I find myself totally obsessed with the terrible beauty of this show...

Likes: Writing, reading, movies, hunting, 4 wheeling, camping, drooling over hot guys, sitting on my front porch (or my friends') drinking beer and having awesome conversation with friends

Dislikes: Drugs, stuck up people, judgmental people, liars/cheaters, being cooped up, stupid people

Things I want in life: to be a published author at least once, once I become a teacher change at least one student's life for the better, to marry an adorable nerd like Dr. Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds) or Mike Ross (Suits), and last but not least, to have Jeremy Renner sing 'Happy Birthday' to me. Preferably a rendition not unlike Marilyn Monroe singing to President Kennedy. And if he could take his shirt off while he did so that would be awesome...

Funniest conversation I've ever been a part of:

"*Me at work reading 'Lover Mine' by JR Ward*

Little Old Lady: Oh, what book are you reading?

Me: It's one of the books in a vampire series that I read.

Little Old Lady: Really? I love vampire books! Is it a good series?

Me: Yea, I like it, I've been reading the series for about 6 or 7 years now.

Little Old Lady: Can I get the author's name and the name of the series?

Me: Um, sure, it's the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by JR Ward. But I should warn you that, um...there are a lot of graphic sex scenes in these books...

Little Old Lady: Oh, that's great! The more sex the better!"

Some things you can always expect to see in my stories:

OCs - I don't know why, but pretty much all of my stories have an OC character in them. I do my best to keep them from being Mary Sue's, and I think I do pretty good, but you'll have to judge for yourself. The one thing guaranteed about my OCs: they're (almost) all extremely short. There's something very appealing to me about a tiny little woman and a man much larger than her.

Romance - Though most of my stories are categorized under romance, and there is a lot of romance in my stories, they're hardly ever overly fluffy, and while that may be one of the main focuses, there is always something else involved.

Breakups - Most of my couples - not all, but most - will do the break up/make up thing at least once. Being that most of the canon characters I deal with are very strong personalities, as are my OCs, it is sometimes difficult for them to be all hunky dory from start to finish. Not to mention, in quite a few of my stories extenuating circumstances force the couple apart which is just another head on the same dragon.

Injury (mental and/or physical) and/or death - As most of the fandoms I write for are not of the happy bunnies and rainbow variety, it's pretty much guaranteed that someone will get hurt in some way or die in my stories. Injury and death are a part of life and I don't spare my characters from it.

Premarital sex: As I mention below, I do not belong to an organized religion and therefore have no problem with this. Also, only one fandom in which I write has heavy religion in it, and I truly believe that many of the canon characters I use would not only not have a problem with premarital sex, but that they would willingly participate (including the canon characters from the fandom with heavy religion).

M ratings (i.e. language, violence, sex, etc.) - As I mentioned above, the fandoms I write for are usually of higher rating themselves, and therefore my stories will be as well. Though I do not overuse any of the factors that make a story M rated - with the exception of my Boondock Saints story, in which there is swearing in abundance, but if you've seen the movie you know that is pretty much required - they are in there; the real world is not G rated, and as I strive to make my fics as believable as possible, neither are they.

Some things I very rarely, or never, touch on in my stories:

Religion: I do not belong to an organized religion, but I do have my biases regardless, and I am not going to try and force any of those down anyone's throats. My characters all have their owns views on God and religion, and while they may be mentioned or discussed, they will never be a main focus of the story.

Politics: I have very little interest in politics, and I honestly don't know much about any of it, so therefore, I don't write about it.

Rape/sexual abuse: At the moment this is in my Covenant story, but this will be ratified soon. More than anything, I have a cousin and a friend who have experience this horrible situation and to be quite honest, I am too chicken to write about what really goes on with a person after such a thing. Not to mention, I think it is one of the most horrible things one person can do to another and I don't even want to think about it.

Abortion: I am pro-choice, deal with it. However, because I know that it is a subject that has landed people in the hospital, I will leave it out of my stories. Not to mention, I don't feel like getting crazy death threats and such.

Incest: This is disgusting on a number of levels and I cannot even fathom thinking about it in detail, let alone spending time turning it into a full blown story.

Slash: I have nothing against slash per se (although one of my favorite couples of all time is Quinn and Blay in J R Ward's 'Black Dagger Brotherhood' books), it's just not necessarily my cup of tea. There may be aspects of it or mention of a gay couple in my writing, but it will probably never be the sole focus of one of my stories.

My Favorites

Movies: Harry Potter (all of them, however, Prisoner of Azkaban is my favorite as is the book), National Treasure, Stand By Me, Lost Boys, The Outsiders, The Prestige, The Fast and the Furious (1,4, &5), X-Men (1-3, Wolverine, & First Class) , Star Trek 2009, Star Wars, Chronicles of Narnia, Stardust, Benny and Joon, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Dark Knight, Dead Poets Society, August Rush, Big Fish, Inception, American History x, Red Dragon, Boondock Saints 1 & 2, PS I Love You, Avatar, Warrior, Cabin in the Woods, The Avengers and all the individual films that led up to it. Just to name a few.

TV Shows: Spartacus (RIP Andy Whitfield), Melissa & Joey, Roseanne, Original Star Trek, Being Human USA, Will & Grace, Once Upon A Time, The Walking Dead, American Horror Story, Grimm, Two Broke Girls, Face Off, Game of Thrones, Hannibal, Bates Motel, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Sleepy Hollow, Gotham, Arrow. I watch a lot of TV shows...


Series: Harry Potter & Tales of Beetle the Bard - J. K. Rowling, Stephanie Plum - Janet Evanovich, Black Dagger Brotherhood & Fallen Angels - J. R. Ward, Dark-Hunter - Sherrilyn Kenyon, Den of Shadows/Kiesha'Ra - Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, Fever - Karen Marie Moning, Magic - Cheyenne McCrey, Pendragon - Susan Kearney, The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins, Frankenstein & Odd Thomas - Dean Koontz, A Song of Fire and Ice - George R. R. Martin, Kinsey Millhone - Sue Grafton, Unwind Trilogy - Neal Shusterman.

Single: The Other Bolyen Girl - Philippa Gregory, The Secret/The Bride - Julie Garwood, The Challenge/The Dare/The Ultimatum/The Quest - Susan Kearny (they are all stand alone books, but do connect vaguely to one another), Love Slave - Beartrice Small, The Key to Midnight/False Memory/The Door to December - Dean Koontz, Grand Finale - Janet Evanovich, The Host - Stephanie Meyer (I HATED the Twilight novels, however, The Host is in an entirely different universe as far as the quality of writing, plot, character development...pretty much everything).


"I'm saying this with love, compassion, and in the spirit of true are full of shit!" - Brenda, The First Wives Club

"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce." "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." "Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." - Mark Twain

"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid." "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe." "Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere." - Albert Einstein

"Demons run when a good man goes to war. Night will fall and drown the sun when a good man goes to war. Friendship dies and true love lies. Night will fall and the dark will rise when a good man goes to war. Demons run but count the cost; the battle's won but the child is lost." - River Song, Doctor Who episode "A Good Man Goes to War"

"What wouldn't I do...for the right guy?" - Gillian, Practical Magic

"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes shut so tight." - Fae, That Thing You Do!

"Graham: Are you going to probe us?

Paul: Why does everyone always assume that? What am I doing, am I harvesting farts? How much can I learn from an ass?" - Paul, 2010

"Shoo with your pointy heads. Why are you always under boot?" - North, Rise of the Guardians

"Don't worry, Daddy. I'll make you famous again." - Ashley, Sinister

"I give you air from my lungs." - 9th Doctor, Doctor Who, episode "End of the World"

"When in trouble, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout." - My awesome ass English professor (I'm sure someone said it before him, but he's where I heard it from)

"Yea, I had to dismember that guy with a trowel. What have you been up to?" "Good work, zombie arm." "I'm gonna go read a book with pictures." "I'm living in a womb of reefer! "He's got a husband bulge." - Marty, Cabin in the Woods

"Doyle: Does anyone here know how to run an elephant?

Ashford: I was in love with a fat woman once, but she never listened to me." - Operation Dumbo Drop

"Tick tock goes the clock 'til River kills the Doctor." - Chorus, Doctor Who episode 'Closing Time'

"Doug: I need your help. I can't tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it later, and we're gonna hurt some people.

Jim: Who's car we gonna take?" - The Town

"I'll rip your soul out, Daddy." - Posessed Girl, Evil Dead 2012

"Son of a bitch!" - Dean Winchester, just about every episode of Supernatural

"I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards, and broken things." - Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones, episodes 'Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things'

"Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word." "I'm strangely comfortable with it." "Now Roc, are you sure that your obey kabey?" "Ow. Give it a smell." "Is that right, Rambo?" "You had best be right with your Jesus, boy." "Fuck you, I know shit!" "How dare you, sir, insinuate such a thing. The fact that you're a greasy spic's got nothin' to do with it." "Georgie, you know all good boys go to Heaven." "Oops. Busy signal. Will have to calleth back!" "Do you mean blonde? Like gay, gay, gay, faggoty blonde. Stay gold Ponyboy!" "Shut up! Romeo's cryin'." - Connor, Boondock Saints & Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

"I'm sorry. It's just that check out was an hour ago, and we were hoping to make up the bed. And it's a classroom you chowder head! Get off the boy, Buffy, we're goin' home." - Xander, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, episode 'Him'

"I can tell you two things. One, your hairdo is...ridiculous. Two, I ate alot of garlic, and I just farted. Silent but deadly." "Unlike typical vampires, her fangs are located in her vagina...moving on." "Go fuck your sister." "Well, we were gonna go with Carebears, but uh, that was taken." "You made a goddamn vampire pomeranian?" "You know, at some point, you, uh, you might wanna consider sitting down with somebody. You know, have a little share time? Kick back. Get in touch with your inner child, that sorta thing. Also, just a thought, but you might wanna consider blinking once in a while." - King, Blade Trinity

"5 foot something, cherry bomb she had everything going on
The first thing that caught my eye
She was rockin’ the beer gut and I love the way she’s not ashamed
Rockin’ the beer gut well it’s just some extra love around her waist
Rockin’ the beer gut she’s more than hot,
she’s everything and with the blue jeans a little tight around her butt
Rockin’ the beer gut" - Beer Gut, Trailer Choir

"I believe the word you're looking for is...AAAAHHHH!" - Penguin, Batman Returns

"11th Doctor: What do I call you?

Idris/TARDIS: I think you call

11th Doctor: Only when we're alone.

Idris/TARDIS: We are alone.

11th Doctor: So we are. Come along, sexy!" - Doctor Who, episode 'The Doctor's Wife

"Maybe there is no hell, or they don't want us there. Every think of that?" - Lestat, Interview with the Vampire movie

"Why don't you tickle Ivan's feet till he talks with your teeny, tiny, itty-bitty jazz hands." - Tuck, This Means War

"It just be rainin' black people in New York." "Do you see this? N Y P D. Means I will knock your punkass down!" - J, Men in Black

"You're allowed to stone people who piss you off! They do it in the Bible, right?" - Irene, The Mist

"Fuck a zombie." - Pam, Sookie Stackhouse novels

"Marty: Puppeteers.

Dana: Puppeteers?

Marty: Pop-tarts? Did you say you have pop-tarts?" - Cabin in the Woods

"I lost my shoe..." - Sam Winchester, Supernatural episode 'Bad Day At Black Rock'

"Can love travel back in time and heal a broken heart? Was it our joined hands that finally lifted Maria's curse? I'd like to think so. But there are some things I know for certain: always throw spilled salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck, and fall in love whenever you can." - Sally, Practical Magic

"Mares eat oats, and does eat oats, and little lambs eat ivy. A kid'll eat ivy too...wouldn't you?" - Carl Stargher, The Cell

"I never knew what life was until it ran out in a red gush over my lips." - Louis, Interview with the Vampire book

"With just one more brain what a half-wit he'd be!" - Roxie Hart, song 'Funny Honey', ChicagO

"Come on down to Salt Lake, we are gonna party like it's 1955. Bring your wives. Oops. Come on down." - Robin Williams Live On Broadway (I live in Utah and am not LDS so it cracks me up)

"So did he, like, slap that ass, or did he grab and hold onto it?" - Tej, Fast Five

"Oh, I'm a screamer. There's a spoiler for you." - River Song, Doctor Who episode 'The Impossible Astronaut'

"Tony Stark: *covers one eye and tries to look at monitors* How does Fury do this?

Agent Hill: He turns.

Tony Stark: Sounds exhausting." - The Avengers

"It's alright, captain. We always knew you were a whoopsie." - Pirate, Stardust

"Drew: Hey, Lonny, how come you never take out the trash?

Lonny: I leave that to you. You're a musician so it's important that you suffer. I'm talentless so suffering is wasted on me." - Rock of Ages

"Joffrey: If I tell the Hound to cut you in half, he'll do it without a second thought.

Tyrion: That would make me the quarter-man. Just doesn't have the same ring to it." - Game of Thrones, episode 'Blackwater'

"You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarpea." - Earl Smooter, Sweet Home Alabama

"I know I'll see you again. This side or the other." - Doug, The Town

"Aw, blind orphans get everything." "Is French Fries an idea?" - Brain, Igor

"Kirk: What's happening to my mouth?

Bones: You got numb tongue?

Kirk: Numb tongue?!

Bones: I can fix that." - Star Trek 2009

"Look at all the beautiful twenty-threes, you wouldn't want to disappoint them, would you?!" - Agatha, Number 23

"They will say I have shed innocent blood. What's blood for, if not for shedding?" - Candyman, Candyman

"Blogging is not writing. It's just graffiti with punctuation." - Dr. Ian Sussman, Contagion

"Wow. Koo-koo-ka-choo got screwed." - Logan, X-Men Origins: Wolverine

"Amy Pond: Got my spaceship, got my boys.

Rory Williams: We are not her boys.

11th Doctor: Yea, we are.

Rory Williams: Yea, we are." - Doctor Who episode 'The Vampires of Venice'

"Oh stop that incessant boo-hooing this instant!" - Henry Higgons, My Fair Lady

"Christ, I'm too old for this! Somebody get me a goddamn wheelchair!" - Whistler, Blade

"Metatron: However, if you should decide to stop being selfish and accept your responsibility, you won't be alone. You will have support.

Bethany: What, more angels?

Metatron: Prophets - in a manner of speaking - two of them. The one who speaks...and he will, at great length, whether you want him to or not, will make mention of himself as a prophet. The other one...well, he's the quiet type." - Dogma

"You need it stat, Bruce? Well, maybe I need a father stat instead of this stay at home father who showers me with love every day of my life, this goddamn spermless liar!" - Nick, Fired Up!

"I think it is much more likely the next time we meet, you fall before mine." "Kill one man, you're a murderer; kill a million, a king. Kill them all, a god." - Drake (Dracula), Blade: Trinity

"So, Satan walks into this bar..." "You are really tan." - Hannibal Smith, The A-Team movie

"Bazinga!" - Sheldon, Big Bang Theory

"Pecos? Let me get a gander at ya. You steamin' pile of buffalo puckie. You're still ugly." - Paul Bunyan, Tall Tale

"I was busy pushing bodies around, as you well know, and what would a note say, Dan? 'Cat dead, details later?'" - Herbert West, Re-Animator

"Oh, you stupid cow! What did you think of your home for?" - Tristan Thorn, Stardust

"Hi, honey, I'm home. Oh, I forgot, I'm not married." - Selina Kyle, Batman Returns.

"Lionel Logue: They’re idiots.

King George VI: They’ve all been knighted.

Lionel Logue: Makes it official then." - The King's Speech

"You look like you come from the planet...Damn." - Agent J, Men in Black 3

"You mustn't be afraid to dream a bit bigger, Darling." - Eames, Inception

"Some motherfuckers are always tryin' to ice skate uphill." "Oh, so exciting, isn't it?" "Kill you? Motherfucker, I'll kill you! I'll just enjoy it better." "Eventually, you know, your head is gonna pop off." - Blade, Blade/Blade II/Blade: Trinity

"I get to get a pig!" "Wanna get some pancakes?" "Why couldn't you're girlfriend wear the dress?" "Old man, my ass." - Marvin, Red

"Oompa loompa here is your tailback." "I said you could thank me's later, Burt." - Leigh Ann, The Blind Side

"Your face will not be here when this is over, will it? Goodbye, my love." - Sonja, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

"My mother told me never to get into cars with strange men." - Selina Kyle, The Dark Knight Rises

"Black Widow: This is just like Budapest all over again.

Hawkeye: You and I remember Budapest very differently." - The Avengers

"I have issues with anyone who treats God like a burden instead of a blessing, like some Catholics. You people don't celebrate your faith, you mourn it. When are you people going to learn? It's not about who's right or wrong. No denomination's nailed it yet, because they're all too self-righteous to realize that it doesn't matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith. Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains gotta to wake up." - Serendipity, Dogma

"Change your tampon and have another drink you crazy fuckin' bitch." "You're the coolest fuckin' guy at Shenaniganz! Whoo! That's like being the smartest kid with Down's Syndrome!" - Mitch, Waiting

"Boom goes the dynamite." - Cash, Breaking In

"Mike: Maybe we should hack into Harvard's files, you know, plant something.

"At least something in this room is attracted to you." "Can you please detach the half-naked businesswoman from underneath my bed?" - Arthur, Arthur

"Women like a man with a big back porch!" - Ray, The Princess and the Frog

"No, I'm a lover, not a fighter." - Scud, Blade II

"Uhura: I'm impressed. For a minute there I thought you were just some dumb hick who only has sex with farm animals.

Kirk: Well...not only." - Star Trek, 2009

"What? Like ths is the first time I've ever gnawed my own feet off?" "Go soak your brain, Brian." - Scamper, Igor

"Fuckin' psychobabble bullshit asshole!" - Naomi, Waiting

"Hello asshole!" "Why are you wasting one more second on that horses ass when Mr. Tie Me Up and Tie Me Down is over there waiting for you?" "Oh God, I think I've just come." "That was a top night!" "Will somebody buy my hoohah a drink!" - TJ, The Wedding Date

"Is it dead?" "I killed your cat you druggie bitch! I thought it would bring closure to our relationship." "Shut your fat ass, Rayvie, I can't buy a pack of smokes without runnin' into nine guys you've fucked!" "I'll tip her!" "There are two types of people in this world when you boil it all down. You've got your talkers and you've got your doers." "And that gives me a hard-on! But not in a gay way or anything." - Rocco, Boondock Saints & Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

"If you douse me again and I'm not on fire, I will donate you to a city college." - Tony Stark, Iron Man

"What's the matter, half-pint, you need a time out?" - Asher, Blade: Trinity

"Thor: You have no idea what you're dealing with.

Iron Man: Shakespeare in the park? Dost mother know you whereth her drapes?" - The Avengers

"Shit, fuck, and tits!" - King George VI, The King's Speech

"There are few things in this world more unsettling than going into the back to get some condiments and end up staring at a huge, steaming pile of cock." "Well, first I got completely hammered drunk. It was bad. Then drove, while intoxicated, to pick up this disease infested prostitute. From there the hooker and I went back to my place and after that, God, it's just a blur of intravenous drug abuse and unprotected sex. While takin' the lord's name in vain." - Monty, Waiting

"You wear a jacket." "There's only one case that intrigues me at present. The curious case of Mrs. Hudson, the absentee landlady. I've been studying her comings and goings, they appear most...sinister." - Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes

"I believe, whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you...stranger." "Madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it needs is a little push." - Joker, The Dark Knight

"We're not laughing at you, we're laughing near you." - Professor Keating, Dead Poets Society

"Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile." - Hiccup, How to Train Your Dragon

"I could've sworn I was wearing a shirt at some point." - Sherlock Holmes, Elementary, episode "Child Predator"

"I can't believe that just fuckin' happened!" "Liberating, isn't it?" "I'll believe my fist up your fuckin' ass!" "Well, at least your plan's off to a winnin' start." "And here I am again all tyin' myself up in fuckin' rope! What's the deal with you and the fuckin' rope, honestly?" "You know, that was perhaps one of the finest examples of spiritual guidance I've ever had the good fortune to witness." - Murphy, Boondock Saints & Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." - Christian, Moulin Rouge

"This is all your fault. Serve him tea, sit in the master's chair, pet the pooch!" - Cogsworth, Disney's Beauty and the Beast

"Game over." - John Kramer (Jigsaw)/Amanda Young/Mark Hoffman/Jill Tuck/Dr. Lawrence Gordon, Saw movies

"Ok...people are dead." "Great, stuck in an elevator with five guys on a high protein diet. Dreams really do come true." "Granted, it's probably not as intimidating as having a gun, or bone claws, or the fingernails of a bag lady. Manicure?" - Wade, X-Men Origins: Wolverine

"So you found God, huh? That's awesome. See, Mom kept calling out for him but he wasn't around. Guess Jesus was down at the mill forgiving all the drunks. Who knew?" - Tommy Conlon, Warrior

"I'm not the one who wanted 'Wind Beneath My Wings' for the first dance." - Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, episode 'Something Blue'

"Fascinating." - Spock, Star Trek

"Did you have some kind of lezzie wet dream about me? You did, didn't you? You fantasized about me! Was I good? - Lily, Black Swan

"Que viva Mexico, bitches!" "Ding dong, motherfucker, ding dong!" "Me and a couple of my friends are fixin' to do some killin' here tonight. I'm talkin' bullets, blood, custom wholesale slaughter; you follow me, Lloydo?" - Romeo, Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

"Do you see another world out there? No, you see a field. Do you see anything nonhuman? No. And you know why? Because it's a field!" - Dunstan Thorn, Stardust

"The question is not how far; the question is, do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far as is needed." "Peace, they say, is the enemy of memory." "Daddy's working." - Il Duce/Noah, Boondock Saints & Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

"Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men, just wanna watch the world burn." - Alfred, The Dark Knight

"We'll start the ass kissin' with you." - Agent Smecker, Boondock Saints

"I just got violated by a lizard, man! Actually that felt kinda good." "Casey La Scala! Just for a dollar." "Hey tell me if this smells more like pepperoni or ass crack. I got five bucks on pepperoni." - Matt, Grind

"Ladies, will you please shut it! Listen to me. Yes, I lied to you. No, I don't love you. Of course it makes you look fat. I've never been to Brussels. It is pronounced egregious. And by the way, no, I've never actually met Bizarro, but I love his pies. And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is once again gone. Savvy?" - Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

"But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace soubriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Voila! In view humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin, van guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V." - V, V For Vendetta

Random Thoughts

Older men CAN be hot, case in point: Gerard Butler, Johnny Depp, Liam Neeson, Sam Elliot, Mark Whalberg, Christian Bale, Sean Bean, Hugh Laurie, Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, David Duchovny, Richard Gere, Sean Patrick Flanery, Tobin Bell, Viggo Mortenson, Gabriel Byrne, Norman Reedus, Kevin Costner, Billy Connolly. Go ahead, Google them, I'll wait...Now mop up the drool and move on.

Music is the ultimate form of inspiration and it unites all people.

I have a very unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter. Let's just say, 'I've spent innumerable hours thinking of ways in which it is plausible that Sirius, Remus, and Snape could all return to the land of the living; I have gotten into several verbal arguments (one nearly turned physical) about whether Hermione should've been with Harry or Ron (Hermione and Ron forever!!!); and I have read all the books numerous times, the least of which would be the fifth one which I've only read 9 times, the highest of which would be the third one which I stopped counting at 40 times...and leave it at that :)

A black '69 Dodge Charger may be the sexiest vehicle to ever be created.

To all the screaming Twilight fans: And then Buffy staked Edward. The end.

Accents are sexy. Particularly Irish, Scottish, and British. I'd move to Ireland just to have a husband with an Irish accent.

I day dream way more than is strictly necessary; my boss once had to bounce something off my head to get my attention. Literally.

Old horror movies are always better than modern horror movies. Doubt me? Go watch Halloween circa 1974. Now go watch Hostel. Be honest, which one scared you more?

Large, muscular men are sexy as hell: Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Joel Edgerton, Tom Hardy (I never thought wing muscles were sexy until I saw him in Warrior), Christian Bale, Triple H, John Cena, Chris Jericho, Manu Bennett

Real men can sword fight, talk about books, and make a fool of themselves on purpose.

There are some actors in this world that are not attractive by standard definition, and yet, there's just something about them that makes them so sexy! Such as: Edward Norton, Costas Mandylor, Jason Segel, Bill Moseley (as Otis in the Rob Zombie films), Benicio Del Toro, Adrian Brody, Jeremy Renner, Michael Rooker, and Tom Hardy. Yea I know, I have weird taste in men. Two weirdest, by far: Steve Buscemi and Alfred Molina...I don't even pretend to try and understand my attraction to these men.

Marilyn Monroe: Playboys first - and most popular- centerfold. She was a size 14

Films with unknown/unpopular actors are always better: The Covenant, Star Trek, Grind, Thirteen, Boondock Saints.

Zachary Quinto made an awesome Spock, but he got nothin' on Leanord Nimoy.

Diet soda, brussel sprouts, toffee, and chili pepper are disgusting.

The Phantom was the sexiest villain ever.

Does anyone but me remember War Heads? Those were awesome.

Am I the only one who wonders how MMA fighters' shorts stay on all the time? You'd think with all that rolling around, someone would lose them eventually...

Stand up comedy is awesome stress relief.

Roman mythology sucks. They just ripped off the Greeks.

Nerdy/shy/awkward guys are not only adorable, but strangely sexy. Such as: Dr. Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds), Dr. Lloyd Lowery (Breakout Kings), Josh (Being Human USA), Remus Lupin (Harry Potter), Mike Ross (Suits), and Riley Poole (National Treasure). Tell me you don't wanna bang at least one of those guys! Go on, tell me.

Don't you sometimes feel like a red shirt in the Star Trek episode of life? (Loves to those who got that.)

Ben Barnes is the yummiest discovery since Johnny Depp.

Piercings and tattoos are sexy.

RIP Heath Ledger; we lost an amazingly fantastic actor in him. To put himself into a role so deeply it killed him...very few actors have that level of dedication. Let's all bow our heads in silence for a moment.

Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, and John Leguizamo made awesome women.

I don't care if he doesn't have super powers, Batman is a thousand times hotter than Superman or Spiderman.

Villains are hot. I want one.

Friends VS Best Friends (I had to post this because this describes my best friend so well it's scary)

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to bury the body of the person that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and runs.

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the cell with you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Gir,l drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"

Friends: Would comfort you if you got raped.

BEST FRIENDS: The rapist's body would be in the gutter shortly.

Friends: At your house, they ask politely if they can use your computer to check their e-mail.

BEST FRIENDS: They get into your FanFiction account that you provided them with your username and password to do so long ago, and post hilarious fanfics under your name, just for you.

Friends: Are sometimes bored when they're around you.

BEST FRIENDS: Think you're the most hilarious and fun person ever.

Friends: Would feel uneasy going out for dinner with you if their parents didn't approve.

BEST FRIENDS: Would go cliff-diving if you suggested it.

Friends: Will help you up when you fall

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you

Friends: Will tell you to look out for the pot hole.

BEST FRIENDS: Will push you at the pot hole then laugh at you even more.

Posted Story Progress

When Lines Become Blurred: Being revamped

Previously Posted Stories That Have Been Deleted to be Revamped and Will Be Re-Posted with the Utmost Urgency

Star Trek, 2009: Rising Up [previously titled 'Alive'] (Spock/OC, minor physical relations with Kirk/OC and Bones/OC) - The Enterprise's new pathologist emerged from a dark past with everything intact, except her soul. Three very different men will help her learn to love and live again, to rise up.

Boondock Saints: Divine Conspiracy [previously titled 'Southern Comfort'] (Connor/OC, Murphy/OC, mentions of Rocco/OC) - When the Saints meet two girls with inside knowledge of the mob they quickly strike a deal with them to take down Papa Joe and Concezio. Things become a lot more difficult as Papa Joe begins to hunt them again and the two girls stir feelings inside Connor and Murphy that are way to distracting for this line of work.

Batman Begins/The Dark Knight: Comfort Zone [likely to be renamed] (Bruce Wayne/OC) - Bruce has never met a woman like Bobby; a woman who holds down not one, but 7 steady jobs - one for every day of the week, puts neon colored streaks in her hair, rides a Harley, has painted every wall of her apartment a different color, and tries out a different hobby every week. After seeing TDKR, this story is going to be AU and take place about a year after the events of TDK; I'm attempting to work out a sequel to this that will deal with the events of TDKR, but we'll have to see how it works out.

Stories to Keep Your Eyes Open For

Multiple Chapter:

3 Covenant, 'Animus Socius' series:

Blond Moment: Reid/OC (Aimee) - Aimee hates Reid Garwin. At least, she wants to hate him...But he's just so damn charming! As if that's not enough to deal with, Aimee is having black outs, her supplies are mysteriously depleting, and her own familiar, along with random classmates, have become terrified of her for no discernible reason. When she, Charlotte, Sarah, and the boys start digging around, they realize something that could cost Aimee her life. Something has invaded Aimee's body, a parasite slowly leeching away her life source along with her magick. Is Reid strong enough to battle the darkness building within Aimee?

Trust Me: Tyler/OC (Casey) - Casey has always been a sucker for blue-eyed boys, and she's set her sights on shy, yet, gorgeous Tyler Simms. Being initiated into his special little group of friends after helping them to save Aimee just makes the process easier. Until she evokes something she can't control; something that's killing people. When Tyler is almost killed going up against the creature with only inexperienced Casey at his side, she must turn to the group for help. They will break every rule they've ever been taught about the Power in order to defeat the creature.

Change: Chase/OC (Lillith) - Chase Collins has been missing for nine months; when Lillith finds him walking down the street in nothing but jeans, not knowing who or where he is, she convinces him to let her take him to the hospital. Yet, when he accidentally lights a tree on fire, Lillith takes him to the only people she thinks might really be able to help; they are supposedly witches, right? As Lillith falls for this new, sweet, gentle Chase, the girls rush to find a way to reverse Caleb's spell, convinced they can siphon the darkness out of Chase if they can get through Caleb's magick, before the boys discover their secret. If they do, the girls know they are not strong enough to keep the boys from killing Chase.

2 Harry Potter:

What Might Have Been: Remus/OC with minor George/OC, Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione - 16 years ago Remus walked away from the only woman he has ever loved; now, with Voldemort on the rise, the Order needs all the help they can get. As they say, if you love something you have to let it go, and if it comes back, it's meant to be.

Of Malfoy's & Muggles: Draco/OC - Draco, having convinced himself he's just as low as Muggles, travels into London. When he meets a former classmate, a Muggleborn he hadn't even known existed, he finds himself venturing more and more into the Muggle world to interact with his classmate's dance partner; a woman who seems determined that Draco will come out of his shell and experience the world.

Little Red Riding Hood: Twilight (Embry/OC) - A woman writing her thesis on the werewolf legends of the Quileute tribe comes to La Push to get some hands on experience to finish her paper. She never expected one of the fabled werewolves to have some crazy love-at-first-sight reaction to her...yet she can't help falling for him too. Takes place about 5 years after Breaking Dawn ends; vampires will make little to no appearance with exception of Renesmee.

Boondock Saints: Connor/Rae, Murphy/Paige - Sequel to 'Divine Conspiracy'; takes place before, during, and after "All Saints Day"

Warrior: Tommy/OC - Tommy, Brendan, and Paddy attempt to forgive and understand one another, to rebuild their family. Tommy connects with a soft spoken waitress/artist who, for some reason, wants to be his friend.

Walking Dead: Daryl/OC - Stephanie is keeping a secret from the group - a secret that if it is revealed could get her killed, or even worse, by those she's come to think of as family. Will start during the first days of the apocalypse and continue through the whole series; contemplating integrating aspects from the comic books that are different from TV show.

Supernatural: Dean/OC - Lonnie has had visions of the future her entire life; it's how she got into being a hunter. Seeing a future you can tell next to nothing about from the fifteen second windows she gets is bad enough. But when the Winchesters begin popping up more and more in her visions she has no choice but to find them. And gets dragged into apocalypses, angel wars, a friendship with the most self-destructive man on the planet, and a romance with the second most self-destructive man on the planet.


Saw: Hoffman/OC - Series of oneshots. The story of Lieutenant Detective Mark Hoffman and Trina, the prostitute who loves him. Spans from just after Hoffman discovers his sister's killer has been released to the end of movie seven.

Stories That Are Not Fully Developed but Are Pinging Around in My Brain

Twilight: A possible ficlet in which The First vampire comes to visit the Cullen household to meet the human-now-vampire and her half-breed child everyone seems to be going on about. More a story of how the vampires came to be than a story about the canon characters; I just love origin stories in other vampire novels and seeing how the vampire gene has mutated over time, such as Dracula, The Vampire Chronicles, and Blade

Arrow: A Roy/OC story for the simple fact that I was never a Throy fan, but especially with the events of season 3 I think Roy needs a better love interest, one who isn't an assasin-in-training. Would likely involve heavy Olicity as well.

Shameless advertising! The stories for which I beta that everyone should check out. Since there are no more links in profiles, all of these stories are in my favorite stories list:

To Have A Home by beksta - Harry Potter (Main characters: Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville, Seamus, Dean, and Dudley; will contain Harry slash; nice-Dursley story; spans all seven years)

When Paths Collide by ObectiveObserverFromAfar - The Walking Dead (Daryl/OC; starts in first days of apocalypse and continues through show)

Of Monsters and Men by KatieBees - The Walking Dead (Daryl/OC; starts at the farmhouse)

Perfect Synergy by LoveinChains - X-Men (X-Men: Days of Future Past; Mystique/Beast, Beast/OC, implied Cherik)

Concept Art (Just copy and paste the link and take out the spaces and replace 'dot' with an actual period)

Animus Socius series (The Covenant): http: // photobucket dot com / YouMayCallMeBitchGoddessAnimusSociusSeries

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

To Have a Home by beksta reviews
With the help of Severus Snape, the Dursleys raise Harry as their son with the knowledge that he is magical. However when, at the age of seven, a magical bond forms between Harry and Hermione Granger life becomes very difficult, especially when he finds himself falling for one of his closest male friends. HP/SF Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 67 - Words: 394,217 - Reviews: 497 - Favs: 620 - Follows: 791 - Updated: 11/21/2021 - Published: 11/1/2010 - [Harry P., Seamus F.] Hermione G., Petunia D.
Legendary Prompts by FreyReh reviews
Basically this is where all my collections of prompts will go now. I'll leave the other short drabbles where they are, but any prompt I receive on tumblr, ao3, or on here involving Captain Canary or Rogue Canary... Will more than likely be posted here! Rated M for some drabbles may be mature!
Legends of Tomorrow - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,043 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 4/1/2016 - Published: 2/28/2016 - Leonard Snart / Captain Cold, Mick Rory / Heat Wave, Sara Lance/White Canary
Of Monsters and Men by KatieBees reviews
Desperate times leads to desperate measures. When Lara tries and fails to steal supplies from the farmhouse, she's sure they're going to kill her. But they don't. They give her a chance, a group to belong to. Will she come to rely on them? Can she ever feel like she belongs, like she's one of them? Eventual Daryl/OC.
Walking Dead - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 31,007 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 1/13/2015 - Published: 8/13/2013 - Rick G., Daryl D., OC, Randall
Perfect Synergy by taekemeaway reviews
The story of a girl who rough housed with the boys, hated all the girls, and fell in love with a mousy boy who graduated from Harvard at 15. And you could say she had a certain "spark" about her. Subtle Romance. Alex & Sean Bromance. Beast/OC, slight Mystique/OC, implied Cherik
X-Men: The Movie - Rated: T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 23 - Words: 73,816 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 12/14/2014 - Published: 4/2/2012 - [Beast/Hank McCoy, OC] Mystique/Raven D., Havok/Alex S. - Complete
When Lines Become Blurred reviews
There is someone out there for everyone, a soulmate. For the Sons, it's a matter of life and death. Charlotte is keeping secrets from the Sons, secrets that could cost them all their lives. Pogue/OC
Covenant - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 42,739 - Reviews: 224 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 212 - Updated: 2/26/2010 - Published: 2/2/2007 - Pogue P.